Thursday, January 27, 2005

drive and culpability

Example

Last night sitting with peter and nick, rehashing the classic college dilemma of only one out of the three parties involved having money and the generally understood room-wide need for booze. The elephant in the room is my wallet. Yestarday I said I wasn't going to mulligans last night. I woke up saying the same thing this morning. But today, I promise that I will not go as I have actual plans tonight for the first time all week. Tonight is pool night.
I shouldn't complain much because even though it seems as though life is taking me by the hand into dark, stale, lonely bars I'm still enjoying myself in the bliss that accompanies a lack of responsibility and I've gotten the chance to speak earnestly with peter and nick again.
at least the bar takes me away from the tv and brings me into a realm of actualities. A realm where focus isn't paid to glowing, humming boxes but faces. Loud and oddly serious conversations, not only from drowning out deth metal, but the result of a conversation's natural tendency to increase in volume as each party yearns for someone to listen, facilitated in bounds by slow, delicate inebriation.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

losing sleep slowly

Interim is over. I completed my final exam today, correcting questions as I went along. Last night was strangely memorable. I egged don on to smash a glass votive against the wall and when he did the glass shattered causing him to bleed profusely, running to the bathroom as management questioned us as to how the votive could have been smashed accidentaly. I guess after I left Nick cut himself on some glass shards on the bench. Allegedly he was quite upset with don. As you can imagine I was fairly intoxicated at the time.
I woke up this morning at 3:30, convinced it was 9:30, fretting that I'd have to take the exam half-drunk. We did have an interesting conversation on how the world will end (flies in a jar vs. nuclear holocost) and the role israel plays in world politics. Peter: "There's a little Israel inside all of us."
Yestarday I saw pictures taken of my freshman year. Falling leaves and smiling faces entirely naive of whats to come. Nostalgic times of friends I should have kept, but time leaked out ever so slowly until the day you find that friendship empty. Some day I will publish posts entitled regret, apologies, and a final one called thank-you's. I couldn't begin to lump them all into one coherent thought. I have the feeling that in six months I'll wake up in my bed and you will seem to be dream. God save me from that day.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

talking lions

interim is coming to a close, which is most likely a positive change for my psyche. For instance, today nick and I watched a two hour long movie following the lives of pride of lions. It wasn't cgi, but their mouths moved to the eloquent speech of kate winslet. I did dishes three times; I'm starting to feel as though my life is becoming useless. I need to get back to learning soon. I need to get learned good.

Friday, January 14, 2005

interim life

this is what my life during interim has been reduced to: 9:30am wake up, eat breakfast. 10:30am play badminton. 12pm eat lunch, shower. 12:30-6pm watch TV with Nick and Jon, think about other things that I should probably be doing, possibly dick around online at school. 6-7pm make and eat dinner. 7:30-8pm the most important part of my day in which I test my mundane knowledge compared with nick and jon in our daily jeopardy tournament. 8pm-1:30am watch more TV and page through european tour guides. 1:30am go to bed and await another day of similar goings-on. I should probably spend more time with Peter, my friend and marriage counselor as he is leaving soon and can tell me the secret to a healthy marriage. (compromise: compromising positions in public places) Bless you reverend.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

badminton 1

today was my first day of badminton 1. because we are graded on improvement, I have taken it upon myself to perform as poorly this week as I possibly can. my performance today was not unlike a sports blooper reel, knees crashing to the hardwood floor as I whiff the shuttlecock. i have also determined that I will count the times this class allows me to say "shuttlecock," giggling like schoolgirl each and every time it is uttered. Dr. Kim says that those who play tennis may have a hard time adapting to badminton because unlike tennis, badminton is a "limp-wristed sport." Limp-wristed indeed.

Monday, January 03, 2005

in limbo

January 3: I'm caught in that time between the holidays and interim. I need something to happen soon. Here's an update on my life. TV sucks. and I should know this because I've spent more time watching TV in the last two days than I would like to see in a month. Although I'm not terribly excited by taking three straight weeks of badminton seeing as how I'm in the worst shape of my life, I'm ready for people to come back to town and maximize my potential for having fun in this, my last semester of college. I'm writing this from the Grand Rapids Main library while strange people seem to circle around me like ravenous sharks awaiting the prey of an open computer.