i will internalize

so as not to get blocked

2011-05-14T17:52:00.003-05:00

So it may or may not have been nearly two years since my last login. I have an inside tip that blogging is about to experience a big renaissance so it's high time I put something back on the page. That and the fact that at least one person vowed to block my blog should I continue to neglect it.

I'm curious as to how many people (besides black market pharmaceutical purveyors and
African princes) continue to look at this on a regular basis. And while all good blog posts should contain at least one secret, here's one from for this entry: I still look at this site every day and have continued to do so for years. Why? Because my tech development, in many respects, seems to have stalled out in it's adolescence. Yes, I'm on facebook and everyblock and twitter and yelp and the chainlink and countless far less worthwhile sites but part of me seems to have been left behind in 2005. I check this blog every day for the blog roll. The blog roll that's totally outdated, only contains a few worthwhile links, and that I have no idea how to change. Additionally, I have a flip-phone, I subscribe to 0 readers and only learned recently how to use hashtags. Here I am, exposed.

Besides a good secret, every blog post should contain current goings-on in the writers life that are of no importance to anyone but the user. First off, I'm a candidate to become League Certified Bicycle Instructor. It sounds like something those with a good amount of knowhow are awarded with but in reality, I paid a sum of money and passed a test. Next weekend I'll engage in a 24 hour seminar where I'm judged on my teaching skills, technique, and depth of knowledge. Honestly, I'm pretty scared. About a year ago I decided that since I may not have any specialized skills, I might want to consider teaching and I'm, at least in part, using this opportunity given to me to see how that goes. I'll keep you posted. Or not. Immediately after that, I see Bonnie Prince Bill play a free show on what happens to be my 6th wedding anniversary. Then, I slog through a major event hosted by my employer. That Friday I'm seeing Rebirth Brass Band at SPACE in Evanston. Now, time for ice cream.

On the Dylan Show

2009-11-01T17:40:00.008-06:00

Saturday night I attended my first ever Dylan concert. When telling friends and family over the last several weeks I've received a variety of responses. Some (typically more familiar with his newer work) expressed excitement and envy while others warned me about Bob being 'washed-up,' a shell of his former self.

Before I write a proper review, I must state my position. Yes, I like newer Dylan records as well as the classics. Yes, I tried to lower my expectations before the show because I fully recognized that I was seeing a 68 year old man in concert. Yes, I had fun, but no, I probably won't go again. No regrets, though, honestly.

Bob moved gingerly around the stage, spending the majority of the night clinging to his keyboard as if it were a walker. His physical deterioration, however, didn't take away from the radiant enjoyment performing continues to give him. Dylan transitioned effortlessly from song to song, moving from newer songs to classics and all those in between. The band sounded great, albeit excessively loud to shift the focal point away from Bob and toward the band itself, this is also apparent in their stage formation.

After a shaky start, it became clear where the nights' highs and lows would be placed. Dylan plays his newer work with gusto and clarity. Some of my favorites included 'Cold Irons Bound' and 'Jolene.' However, his performances of classic Dylan selections left much to be desired. Some were so disheveled I needed to repeat the lyrics back to myself just to identify the song. See 'lay lady lay.' Others, 'Like a Rolling Stone' in particular, were painful attempts to recreate original recordings. During this rendition, Xtina and I had simultaneous feelings of being trapped inside a pbs fundraiser where living members of one-hit bands from the '60's are reunited to play staggered versions of their hits to adoring blue-haired fans.

Despite the upbeat performance, I feel saddened when I think about his lost abilities. I don't feel that Dylan could physically sit on a bar stool and play 'Mr. Tambourine Man.' His voice simply doesn't have the dexterity it once did. The few times Bob picked up the guitar Saturday night, it was for songs with only the simplest chord changes. This deterioration must be happening quickly. One of my favorite Dylan albums is this years release, 'Tell Tale Signs,' an album of b-sides and outtakes from the last decade-or-so of albums. And while you can tell the difference between a 90's track and a recent track on this record, I can't imagine present-day Dylan performing anywhere near this caliber.

It's a... Cat!

2009-09-11T13:15:00.003-05:00

Obviously, my interest in blogging as waned. Facebook is so much simpler and easier. Tonight I have a rare closing shift so I'm bumming around the apartment, looking at websites, needlessly eating junk food and listening to gordon lightfoot and old son volt albums on lala.

Boulevard Lakefront Tour is Sunday. Xtina and I are committed to the 100 mile ride. It'll be my longest ride of the year but I think I'm up for it. I've been volunteering for the event for a couple of weeks. Someone there thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge of route signage. We'll see how that goes.

I'm finally getting that cat I've been talking about for so long - and what a cat it is. Poe will make a lovely addition to the family. I've never been a cat owner before, I'm sure there's nothing to it, right? In no time I'll be posting photos of Poe in a box and dressed in costume. That's right, I'll be one of those 'cat people.'

sunny afternoon

2009-05-21T15:59:00.003-05:00

Summer appears to be here and I'm taking advantage of it by sitting out on the back patio with a tall glass of iced tea. Being home in the afternoon is one of the major perks to working early mornings.

Xtina has started her year-long nursing program.

Sunday morning is Bike the Drive, that Friday is critical mass. The Sunday following is Tour of Austin. I'm astonished by the quantity of organized cycling available in the city - I attend only a fraction.

I'm already complaining about the heat.

the early shift

2009-04-13T16:44:00.004-05:00

Today marked a new milestone in my bicycle obsession: an intentional bike commute in the rain. Yesterday I was able to install real (read: not clip-on) fenders all by myself without getting frustrated or screwing anything up. I was surprised at how easily everything came together after all the months of agonizing at which type of fenders to purchase. I also bit the bullet and bought an expensive pair of rain cycling pants. And how did the ride go - I'd be lying if I said it was didn't mind the rain but it sucked much much less than an unintentional ride in the rain. Maybe this year I'll ride through the winter as well.

The ride to work was great, though. I had to count inventory this morning which meant a 3:30am ride through the city. I don't think I'd ever ridden so late into the night. It was exhilarating! The city is alive at that hour: dreary-eyed late night latin bar-goers stumble onto Milwaukee avenue under the watchful eye of chicago's finest, hard-hatted laborers smoke cigarettes with greasy hands outside the steel mill on cortland street passing over the still river, the lights on marcey street not yet lit giving the nearing skyline even more dominance over its surroundings. I'm considering starting a series of overnight rides through the city. I think it'd be hard to get a large enough group to ensure safety though many neighborhoods.

Xtina is almost done with city college. She can't wait to get back to "smart people school." We've seen six or seven houses with our realtor, who was just featured in the latest publication of the Chicago sustainable business alliance, but all of them, regardless of price, seem to have at least one fatal flaw: caving-in facade, mold, wiring stolen from the walls, or my favorite - gas leak (motivated seller). Looking is fun, though, if not a little frustrating.

Erin has got me all nostalgic for Grand Rapids but I'm not sure when I'll be able to return. Work is crazy right now. I'll get back eventually.

I am no longer 'on a boat'

2009-03-31T17:12:00.002-05:00

but I feel like I am.

I got home Sunday night and have been feeling what can only be described as Vertigo ever since. I'm doing fine, though. I'm sure I'll get over this 'land sickness' soon enough.

Yes I had a good time and yes I experienced a great deal of liberal guilt - it was very clear that people like me don't go on cruises.

Looking forward to:

First round of walk-thru's with our kick-ass realtor
Neko Case show on the horizon
First 6-pack of two hearted purchased in the city
Discovering I have a free airline ticket accumulated through frequent flyer miles
Flaming Lips at Pitchfork!

cold as ice

2009-02-28T17:09:00.003-06:00

I've just returned from my first bike tour of 2009 - "Vuelta a Albany Park." Comprising only 20 miles the ride was more a neighborhood tour than a 'bike tour. The event was part of a series of year-round neighborhood bicycle tours organized by a local amateur historian, among other things. Given the temperature, I layered for the outing and managed to stay warm enough except for my feet and the roads were dry enough not to have to worry about ice. I'm hoping I can continue to do these every month. Let the 2009 season begin!

Xtina had her first adventure with the local Polish supermarket today. Typically we're Whole Foods people but after working at a place and learning it's inner-workings, you begin to see things in a different light and I think we're opening up to different options. Xtina was delighted to discover she can pass as Polish - it must be fun to be able to pass as a local.

Friends coming into town in just two weeks, vacation in three weeks - It'll be nose to the ground until then.

Wednesday

2009-02-11T11:03:00.002-06:00

It's Wednesday again and that means I'm enjoying a day off. I've already done some reading and caught up on emails. I'm currently reading a book that is completely blowing my mind. It's called "You Are Here: personal geographies and other maps of the imagination" and it's totally up my alley. The book is filled with outright inspiring images - I just read an essay in it called "Personal Geographies of Appalachian Trail Hikers" which I found particularly interesting. It's gotten me thinking about my own "personal geography" and how perhaps what I love most about living in Chicago is the expansion of that area of my psyche. If I want to hop on my bike and be somewhere culturally, ideologically and thematically hundreds of miles away from me I can do so in minutes - there are miles and miles of space with which I have no relationship. Particularly, I think about the evolution of personal geographies and collective personal geographies. For instance, when I visit lincoln park I can stand on a site that's been home to a native american burial ground, a new Olmstead park, the site of countless labor disputes, a meeting place in a working-class neighborhood, a riot scene during the '68 democratic national convention and at the same time all the unseen personal feelings associated with place that are given birth and die without ever seeing light.

Of course, it's been unseasonable warm as of late and I've been to riding to work again. The problem is that when I leave the house at 6:30 it's much cooler than the daytime high and it may be freezing at that time and nearly sixty in the afternoon. Monday morning I rode in and fell on a patch of ice onto the dirty, oily street. I later learned that the street was all wet in that particular section because of an open sewer only feet away from where I landed. Thank you City of Chicago.

I just worked out a deal with my employer that gives me every Wednesday off to volunteer. I'm pumped. I've applied applied for one organization already. If you have any good ideas on where I can spend my time, let me know.

The Art Institute is free all February. I think I'll head down there this afternoon.

we can make this happen

2009-01-24T16:31:00.003-06:00

I'm in the midst of a cold, cold winter. It's been above freezing (34) just one afternoon in several weeks. Still, I'm feeling guilty about driving to work as many of my colleagues are still riding in. Sheesh. I said I could last through the winter this year but I was horribly mistaken.

In other news, I ate meat yesterday. I didn't even feel bad about it or anything. I'm carrying this line of fresh pasta made by a 'mom and pop' operation on the west side of town and they happen to make rotolo, layered flavored pastas with cheese and spinach sprinkled with prosciutto. It came in and i simply couldn't say no. It was delicious!

Now I'm home enjoying an episode 'Man Vs. Wild,' watching Bear bathe in siberian snow while I wait for xtina to come home.

I bought Bonnie 'Prince' Billy tickets this morning and I'm super psyched about the show - and about peter and erin coming in to see it. I also bought Neko Case tickets for the Chicago Theater. I figure I've never been there and I'd love to see her in that setting. With so many concerts coming to town, I'm not sure where to stop. I almost bought Morrissey tickets. I almost bought antony and the johnsons tickets.

Only eight more weeks 'til vacation.

working mans blues

2008-12-28T19:01:00.002-06:00

Christmas is over and work is dying down. I'm sorry I wasn't able to come back and see everyone while they were with their families and whatnot but I'll be able to return for "Christmas" next weekend. It's been a few months since we've returned and I'm looking forward to seeing whoever will see us.

The wife and I made a brief, spontaneous visit to her folks house xmas day. I didn't have an extended break where I got to sleep in and lounge around the living room or even a few hours of time to reset my psyche this year, but christmas day was good. We had some wine and cheese, a good dinner and time with the in-laws - not to mention a brand new bike trainer. The day was capped-off by a sleepy drive home to resume my early morning routine. This is a hard time of year for people who do what I do. You work tirelessly in effort to create (or create the illusion of) what can be described as 'dream christmas' for those more fortunate, while you yourself work sixty hours a week with no break, no time for reflection, no 'holiday season' to speak of. Christmas becomes something achieved for others, and taken away from you. I'd like not to do this next year. Now, I don't want to be all negative; I describe it in this way because the experience, the feeling is unexpected. I'd certainly rather have it this way than the way it was before this job.

Soon friends should be returning to the city and I can resume this season as normal. I'll be working new years day, but I'll try to stay up past midnight and find something to do this new years eve.

In a few hours it will be official...

2008-12-03T16:53:00.004-06:00

...I have gone the entire day without pants.

It's winter now and I've wussed-out and stopped riding to work. I feel a bit guilty about driving the car everyday, but I justify using it with the rational that: a) public transit is more expensive because I already own the car and b) the CTA is unpredictable and when I already wake at 5:30 each morning, getting up nearly 45 minutes earlier would be no fun at all and would most likely adversely affect my quality of life.

Xtina is waiting to hear back from her top-pick school. We were supposed to know by now. We don't know and it's making us nervous and crazy. There is no more nintendo wii to take my mind off the everyday. sigh.

I finally finished reading 'Blink' which I bought for seven dollars at powells books in Portland. The book was worthwhile. I miss Portland. I'll now start reading 'The Ghost Soldiers' until another book distracts me from it until its' due date.

I've recently acquired 'Belle and Sebastian: the BBC sessions,' which is great if you haven't heard it yet. I brought me back to those college days when I first heard Tigermilk. I also got the new Deerhunter album which I like much more than I thought I would - I typically lean towards music much more straightforward. My favorite new album is definitely Neil Young's 'Sugar Mountain: Live.' I can't believe it hasn't been released until now. I ordered 'They Shoot, We Score' from Yo La Tengo's website yesterday. It was the first cd I've ever purchased online and will probably be the last.

I'm hungry and I've already eaten too many cookies: the only prepared food in the house. Xtina doesn't get home until eight. What to do... What to do...

sunday: pumpkin pancakes and window-sealing plastic

2008-11-09T15:21:00.003-06:00

I saw my first snowflake of the season just moments ago. Fortunately, we've almost finished sealing the windows. This year, we're doing all of them, not just the draftiest ones and it's clear we're doing a better job - the plastic isn't buzzing in the window draft. This afternoon we took our weekly trip to the food whole to purchase foods that complete our CSA box into meals. We also stopped at village discount outlet to look for some second hand season-appropriate clothing for me but to no luck.

I had a decent birthday. Aside from getting a new president I also got a set of glencairn glasses - the glass made specifically for tasting scotch. In addition, I got a nice bottle of single malt, single barrel scotch, a bottle of artisan bourbon (can you guess my latest hobby?), a couple gift cards and a bit of cash. I told my brother in college that birthdays stop being fun after 21. That statement may be exaggerated for effect, but it's true that birthdays aren't what they used to be.

I took what may be my last long-distance 'pleasure' ride of the year this week. I wasn't fortunate enough to have time off of work while it was 70 degrees early in the week but I got to go out while it was still in the low 50's. I'll miss it but I'm trying to buy a pair of rollers to turn the bike into a 'stationary bike' as it were. Hopefully if I do this I can pick up in the spring where I left off this fall - which would be great.

I'll see you in Grand Rapids

2008-10-28T16:31:00.001-05:00

I'll be back in town Wednesday through Sunday. I only wish it was under better circumstances.

2008-10-18T16:58:00.002-05:00

It's Saturday and I've picked up the CSA box, grocery shopped at 'the hole,' and cleaned the apartment. Tonight we're having Matt and Mandy over for dinner. Rest assured we'll clear out the magic hat variety box purchased today and I'll awake tomorrow morning with a sore shoulder from swinging a wiimote around the living room. Very little other news to speak of - Xtina is sending out her first nursing school application this week.

Making dinner, Xtina is listening to Garrison Keillor in the kitchen. It's curious that while I've always found his program irritating, It's starting to give me nostalgic feelings - but nostalgic feelings for a time where I also didn't like prairie home companion. strange.

Day trip to Pullman

2008-10-03T19:39:00.015-05:00

Each year when the air begins to turn crisp and temperatures fall, I start to get a bit of cabin fever. This may be why we tend to go on a significant vacation every year at this time. However, with xtina's school schedule and our restricted budget, that simply isn't in the cards. Not sure what to do with our weekday off together, this morning we debated several options. We considered visiting starved rock, geneva, or warren dunes state park but in the end it was obvious we didn't want to spend hours in the car and a fortune at the pump. We chose a trip a bit closer to home and are happy with the results.

We started our trip with lunch at a local culinary institution: Hot Dougs. They're widely known for unusual gourmet hot dogs and weekend duck fat fries but they also have the best veggie dogs in town - served chicago style with everything on 'em: tomato, pickle, grilled onion, celery salt, relish and mustard. Make sure you go before noon because the line can reach all the way around the block.

From Hot Dougs we drove to the far south side to visit Chicago's historic Pullman neighborhood. To those of you who aren't familiar with this part of midwestern history, the town of Pullman was the brainchild of George M. Pullman and his Pullman Palace railcar company. Slated to be a 'workers paradise' Pullman created a model village adjacent to the factory complete with row houses, markets, a church, hotel and plenty of public space. In the height of its operation the town was dubbed "The Worlds Most Perfect Town." Shortly thereafter, however, the famous Pullman Strike begins when leaders refuse to hear workers grievances. Two years later the Illinois Supreme Court rules that the Pullman company cannot own non-factory buildings and is forced to stop collecting rent from the homes and municipal buildings (including the church) where they were demanding a six percent return on investment. The homes and buildings have been privately own ever since.

The Pullman Palace Car Company has long since closed, and after community leaders and residents banded together in the 1970's, saving the town from demolition and renovated most buildings, Pullman now faces a new onslaught of problems.

Only six weeks ago, the state of Illinois suspended access of the Hotel Florence to the Historic Pullman Foundation which until recently operated the building for the past thirty years, hosting events and tours regularly. Fifteen years ago, the state purchased the Clocktower/factory building (pictured)and the hotel (pictured, top) with promises to open a much-needed Pullman museum. The state never made good on its promises and the Clocktower, once painstakingly renovated by neighbors and volunteers, now sits deteriorating behind barbed wire. Now with the closure of the Hotel Florence, a hotel still in private operation as recently as 1975, all foundation tours have been called off. The building sits darkened and unused with no plans for further renovation or public viewing. Now stripped of access to many of its assets, the Pullman Foundation appears to be hanging by a thread, ironically operating by the aid of a sole volunteer in a 1960's stone box building on the site of the former marketplace. This sad tale appears to be business as usual for the state of Illinois, notorious for underfunding its historical assets. It's worst (in)actions include razing entire neighborhoods, allowing limitless facade jobs, neglecting Worlds Fair artifacts, and allowing the Uptown Theater to rot all while putting on the typical progressive face for tourists and dignitaries.

While we were so far south we figured we might as well go to our favorite brewpub: Three Floyds Brewery in Munster, Indiana. Inside the tiny pub in a secluded business park the furniture is ikea, the music is generic, and the decor consists of Star Wars paraphernalia, but the beer is Fantastic! The demand for three floyds beer is astronomical, limiting their distribution to the Chicago metro market, all while scoring top honors at national beer festivals.

After a gorch fock, a munsterfest, and a topless witch, we were on our way home.

A more complete photo set can be viewed here.

9pm with a gumballhead

2008-09-30T20:29:00.004-05:00

My downstairs neighbors have all their kids and grandkids over to watch the sox game. I figure I don't have to watch the game myself as I can tell the outcome of each play based on the frequency and volume of yeahs and boos. They're pretty hilarious because they're not my family.

I got summoned for jury duty today and I'm trying not to be pissed about it. It's on a Monday morning where I would normally be working frantically trying to make serious deadlines. Also, it's in the same week that I'm going back to Michigan and I can't exactly afford to take two paid days off right now. Then again, there isn't anything I can do about it so I shouldn't sit and stew over it all day. but I will.

The days have gotten much cooler. This morning I left the house (on bike) in a t-shirt as normal, not registering that it was fifty degrees outside. By the time I determined it was too cold to bike I was too late to turn around. I grit my teeth and faced the wind. Just the other day I was thinking that if I lived in a more temperate climate I could probably go without a car at all and continue riding longer and longer distances.

After doing serious damage to this computer last week. I'm back online with a freshly reformatted hard drive. I'm kevdek and I'm a regretful PC.

NPR is streaming the new Bob Dylan bootleg series. I'm pretty into it.

back to the week

2008-09-24T07:38:00.003-05:00

The weekend ended up being everything I was hoping it would be. The Cubs won the division title - my seats were so close to the field I felt I was part of the game. I will say this about major league baseball - it moves so quickly! When going to a Whitecaps game, for instance, it seems like you're there all day. Granted Saturday was a relatively short game, but there was so much going on it didn't even feel like I was settled in before 'go cubs, go.' I'm glad I went, though. I had a great time and I'm not feeling much cognitive dissonance about the value of the tickets - I'll probably never get such great seats again.

The Hideout Block Party was fun, too. Attendance wasn't as strong as last year due mostly to what many call a weaker lineup. In fact, the festival didn't sell out for the first time in years. Nonetheless, the acts I went to see were fantastic. And Neko Case performed, 'Buckets of Rain,' my favorite Dylan cover.

Xtina and I will be returning to Grand Rapids Oct. 30th for a long weekend.

More updates to follow

weekend view

2008-09-18T19:05:00.002-05:00

Work has been pretty tough lately. I'm looking forward to what is shaping-up to be a fantastic weekend. Saturday, although I'm working in the morning, I've managed to score some pretty sweet tickets to the Cubs and Cardinals game. In fact, they're about 20 rows behind home plate and are going for an unspeakable amount of money on ticket brokering sites right now. I gave some serious consideration into selling them but after a day deep in thought and helpful discussions with Xtina and with Metal, I decided for a number of reasons that I should go to the game after all.

As soon as the game ends I'm biking south to the Hideout Block Party where I'll see one of my favorite artists - Neko Case. Afterward I'll sprint downtown where I'll start an impromptu parade in my honor and will bring all races and classes of Chicagoans together in a choreographed rendition of 'Twist and Shout.'

Well, not that last part but I'm one trip to the art institute away from what I call the 'Bueller Trifecta.'

Sunday I have the day off and will spend it doing a long ride in the morning - I'm feeling better these days and didn't end up having to see a doctor. My favorite cycle route (the one in which I got hurt) is completely under water in light of last weeks events but the routes on the south side should be fine. After my ride I'll be going back to the Block Party for a concert by the likes of Mucca Pazza, Ratatat, and The New Pornographers - featuring Neko Case.

I'm nervous about getting my hopes up that everything will work out, but I think this weekend will be the kind of urban weekend that I've been waiting for for a long, long time.

slip and fall

2008-09-07T18:37:00.002-05:00

I may have mentioned this previously but my place of employment has an annual bicycle contest that I have been participating in all summer. My goal has always been to finish in the top ten and as of two weeks ago I was ranked seventh overall in the region. Prizes include trips to NYC and to Guatemala, gift certificates and PTO hours. The competition ends in two weeks so I've been hitting it pretty hard.

This past Wednesday I got up at dawn intending to finish my standard 65 mile training ride (I try to stay around 20 mph). The trail was a bit wet so I slowed down but slipped around a corner on what must be the first fallen leaves of the season. I'm pretty scraped-up on my hip and elbow and until just recently I had some serious pain in my bones - so much so I missed a free Andrew Bird concert downtown.

I've (correction: Christina has) been tending my wounds the best I can and I'm still in some pain but I wouldn't let it keep me from riding in the Chicago Bicycle Federation's Boulevard Lakefront Tour. Early this morning I bandaged myself up and competed today's 93 mile trek (63 miles on the course and 30 miles to and from the starting line in Hyde Park.) I didn't think I'd be able to finish - even yesterday - but Xtina and I made it. I love group rides; I'm considering riding in the North Shore Century Ride.

A friend of mine is riding to the U.P. in a few weeks. It makes me think I should try riding to Grand Rapids sometime. The only problem would be the route.

Xtina thinks I should get a bike tattoo.

what I did on my summer vacation...

2008-08-23T14:36:00.008-05:00

I'm back from vacation and taking it easy - enjoying a Saturday off. I have a pile of wet, smelly laundry to do and I'm letting our equally wet, smelly tent, packs and boots air out in the backyard. Our time in Portland was relaxing and enjoyable. As you previously saw I spent some time riding a rented bike, walked the city excessively, visited Powell's books multiple times, and ate out for each meal. At 'The Farm,' a restaurant that exclusively features local products, I had one of the best (and most expensive) meals I've ever had - a plate of local cheese and fruit, Columbia river sturgeon with root vegetables and heirloom tomatoes, a bottle of Willamette Valley pinot grigio and pecan dulce de leche cheesecake. Oh man, my mouth waters just thinking of it. On Saturday we visited the Portland Farmers Market, which I believe is the largest farmers market in the US in terms of number of vendors. For lunch I purchased what were sure to be the worlds juiciest peaches, a sourdough loaf from a local bakery and some great fennel-ed chevre. The temperature did reach 105 for a couple days and it did keep me indoors for longer than I had wanted, but I successfully enjoyed the city and gave serious thought into relocating there. I don't think I'll ever go into a move as optimistically as I did my move to Chicago, but quality of life seems to be pretty high there and they seem to have my lifestyle interests and activities widely available - from local, good vegetarian cuisine to plentiful bicycling and a seemingly endless supply of great backpacking within hours of downtown. Don't get me wrong - there are plenty of jerks there, and some neighborhoods were definitely better than others (I was terribly disappointed after visiting what was described to me as the 'logan square' of portland), and I felt a little square, but I'd definitely be fine with relocating there in the near future. So, Xtina won.

The second part of the trip involved us backpacking the famed Timberline Trail around Mount Hood. But due to recent heat and a short spring half of the trail was closed due to washouts and forest fires. We altered the trip to include a section of the Pacific Crest Trail with a side trip to the top of Yoakham's Ridge where we saw real live glaciers melting and bald eagles nesting. Camping at Ramona Falls the weather turned cold and it rained for almost thirty straight hours. At some point we decided we weren't equipped to deal with freezing wet windy weather (we weren't) we hiked eleven miles out and 1/2 mile up to the historic Timberline Lodge (where they shot 'The Shining') to try and check in for the night. Struggling against the wind and rain we waddled into the lobby during a wedding, looking and smelling terribly and checked into the cheapest room they had left. And while it was more then I had ever personally spent on a hotel room and the food was shamefully expensive ($14 boca burgers, folks), we had a wonderful time. Our room featured what had to have been the softest bed on the face of the earth (all down), a hot shower and dry, safe space. There was talk of me, as a soft bed afficionado, starting a new magazine called soft beds quarterly where I review hotels based on the softness of their beds, discuss the latest trends in mattress softness and even include soft beds personals.

The lobby and breakfast buffet were adequately filled with backpackers, many of them hiking through the PCT. Because we had packed more food than we would have guessed we would use, we offered it to some rad PCT dudes who were also toughing out the storm. They gladly accepted the food and after some conversation it was revealed that it was my college friend Mando's Group! Only he wasn't there. It appeared as though I missed slick B by only a matter of hours because he did a side trip with some hippies. Mando - I'm sorry I missed you on the trail. It's funny too because when I checked in I thought how funny it would be if Mando would start the pct in april and I'd randomly run into him in Oregon months later. It would have been a great coincidence.

Now, it's back to work and Xtina starts school on Monday. I'm terribly jealous, I've got to figure out something to do that doesn't involve working a retail job.

my oh my

2008-08-13T19:46:00.002-05:00

I woke up super early considering the local time. After waiting for five hours for a bike shop to open, I was on my way. As far as good days I've had in the last few years, today ranks near the top.

Check my route - I made it public this time.

The next few days the temp is expected to climb to nearly 100. And while it's only 80 right now, I'm vowing not to let it ruin my vacation.

___________vacation_

2008-08-07T17:17:00.002-05:00

Just a few days ago it dawned on me that Xtina and I will be flying out to Portland and backpacking around Mt Hood this coming tuesday. I had to dig up the emailed flight confirmation just to be sure. Tuesday also, then, marks Xtina's last day with the food hole. Yikes! It's a good thing this trip will fall on a new credit card billing cycle.

Now I'm in pretty good shape these days in terms of my cardiovascular health, but I'm very unprepared for continuous high-elevation hiking. I've only worn my hiking boots a twice on very short neighborhood walks. Xtina is in the kitchen dehydrating stir-fry and I'm preparing a list of things to purchase last-minute from REI tomorrow. So far the list includes:

sanitary shovel (to dig a hole in which to shit)
bio-degradable toilet paper (to aid in shitting)
bear whistle?
ropes
pants
compass
plastic flask (to drink bourbon out of)

We'll be gone for almost two weeks, only four of those days will be spent in the woods, the rest of the time will be spent at a nice hotel near downtown portland. We may check out some schools; I'll definitely check out the biking scene. Updates will be sure to come.

Tonight

2008-08-02T22:03:00.003-05:00

Tonight:

Drinking twelve-year craft scotch while listening to a podcast of a recent Tom Waits show. The two truly go hand-in-hand. Also, I'm doing this in our pleasantly cool kitchen while Xtina makes a carrot cake, allowing me to lick the spoon covered in cream cheese icing.

This afternoon I took my signature 65 mile ride through cook and lake counties - it's amazing what a week long interruption in ones training schedule can make. I was exhausted but managed to keep my speed up. My knees are creaking audibly.

Maybe Erin and I can go shopping for 'Life is Good' T-shirts.

Update

2008-07-28T21:18:00.002-05:00

Update: They arranged a limo to drive me from Detroit Metro to the store.

I felt like Kwame.

I did actual work for about an hour today before quitting time was called and it was time to go out for drinks. Tomorrow I'm visiting Ann Arbor.

out of "office"

2008-07-27T21:27:00.003-05:00

I'm leaving tomorrow morning on a business trip to Rochester Hills, MI. I've got mixed feelings - I don't especially want to leave Xtina for a week but I suppose it will be good to get away.

Not much new around here. Pitchfork was fun, everything was exactly as I had expected it to be. The Tour de France is over so I can stop watching three hours of television every day. I came home a couple times for family-related activities.

I'm currently ranked seventh in overall cycling in my work's regional competition. I'm riding like crazy these days. Friday I took the sixty five mile trip to Lake Bluff and yesterday I rode with friends to the Lynfred Winery in Roselle. I'm saving up for Look-style pedals, shoes and cleats.

In just a few weeks we're going to Portland so I can feel as good about the city as Xtina does. We'll be staying in one of our favorite hotels, the Jupiter, and for a few days we'll be backpacking on Mount Hood. I suppose I should break in those new hiking boots sometime.

I'm feeling a bit disconnected these days - I'll have to make some phone calls when I get back.

I made it!

2008-07-09T18:46:00.003-05:00

It was pretty rough, though. I fell around mile twenty and was very close to getting hit by a truck at mile fifty. I'm tired and sore and sunburned, but thrilled that I accomplished my summer goal so early. Perhaps I should try a trek to Michigan next. I'll wait, though. After riding 100 miles I can't even think of getting on that bike again for a couple days.

By sheer chance I was given a long forth of July weekend off and I returned to Michigan. The gang was all there and I drank my fair share of oberon from the mini keg.

Update: I am unbelievable sore today. I calculated that I burned over 4,100 calories on the trip and my body is wrecked.

Back in Town

2008-07-04T11:15:00.002-05:00

After a late night, I started with a great morning.

Update: link should work without forcing registration

summer is here

2008-06-22T17:42:00.003-05:00

I went for a ride this afternoon before the rain started. Now it's raining and I'm stuck inside doing dishes and watching Caddyshack on VH1. My new bike has been treating me very well - aside for some hamstring pain around mile 40 I didn't really 'hit the wall' concerning energy until I was five miles from home. I'm giving some consideration into setting a formal training regiment with the goal of making it to the Wisconsin state line and back in an afternoon. This is what I've been up to lately. Thank you president Bush for the tax incentive check.

Tonight Josh Ritter is playing a show at the west loop neighborhood festival for only $10 admission but it's supposed to rain all evening and I'm pretty tired from earlier today. I'm sure I'll hear about this from Peter and Erin.

Speaking of shows - we had a great time at the Mark Kozelek show. The old town school of folk music is a fantastic place - small and intimate amphitheater with great sight lines and relaxed attitude. It helped I scored 2nd row seats. He played very few songs from his solo records and instead focused heavily on playing old Red House Painters tracks and songs from 'ghosts of the great highway.'

I've been listening to Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes. I'm getting ready for pitchfork.

Our first CSA box was delivered yesterday. Last night we enjoyed the freshest salads I've ever had accompanied by Cypress Grove Chevre on a Tuscan loaf and a delightful bottle of Pinot Grigio from Sonoma.

Summer is here, indeed.

via boing boing

2008-06-16T17:21:00.000-05:00

Talking Jesus

"...you want to hire a choirboy you can go back to Grand Rapids. I've been to that scumbag town, it's full of 'em."

2008-06-13T08:49:00.004-05:00

...Is a line Peter Boyle uses in Paul Schrader's 1979 film "Hardcore" which Xtina and I watched last night based on a g-rad discussion board mention. If you haven't seen this movie you should check it out. It's filled with GR nostalgia and plenty of nudges to those who are familiar with its' subculture. It was nice to view that Calvinist familiarity from the outside-in. I can see why many in city administration vowed never to have another film shot in the city again. The movie makes GR appear in the same way the news media are making mormon enclaves appear today.

It's been incredibly hot in the city for the last week or so.

Not too much is new...working, sweating, riding, eating. Oberon is back in town under the guise of 'Kalamazoo Unfiltered Wheat Beer.' Perhaps I'll post a photo.

Just got home from Ill'nois...

2008-05-26T05:51:00.004-05:00

...Lock the front door o boy

I had to catch a ride with xtina on her way to work this morning because the cta is completely unreliable on early holiday mornings. That is why I'm here almost an hour early, blogging in a dark office before six a.m. on memorial day.

Not too much happened this weekend - I found myself working the entire time. I didn't have any alternate plans, I just miss the holiday weekend in general. I suppose I did watch 'The Big Lebowski' while drinking a Two Brothers 'Victor's MemoriAle Altbier' - that may count as memorial day-related.

I'm taking a few days off this coming weekend. I'll be returning home to go to my younger brother's high school graduation open house. Maybe I'll see a couple of you around. Peter - I'm looking in your direction.

Budget Hero

2008-05-21T14:16:00.005-05:00

Via Boing Boing, I found this game created by american public media. I've spent almost an hour playing around with it. The saddest part is discovering how easy it is balance the budget, eliminate debt and create a healthier society for all. If only politics were this simple. Try it out - you can even compare your policies with those of other ages, locations and persuasions.

Warning - contains sound.

annual aching for more

2008-05-20T12:05:00.002-05:00

Today is my day off - and a perfect afternoon to listen to Tom Waits' Closing Time in my underwear. I'm not sure how the rest of the day will pan out, but I want to get some more reading done, watch a movie so I can get something else from netflix, wash the dishes, look at stuff online and perhaps go for a short ride if it isn't too windy. Then again, I have tomorrow off too so I'll probably put everything aside for tomorrow. Work is the same, the weather is changing and with it my annual aching for more.

Sunday Xtina and I biked to the Chicago Green Festival. The green festival is essentially a 'green business' trade expo with exhibitors and speakers. We weren't able to catch Amy Goodman on Saturday but we did see former Nader runningmate Winona LaDuke.

I was nervous about going. I'm grateful to christina for essentially holding my hand through it. You see, events like this typically give me mixed feelings. On one hand a feeling of hope that there are organizations out there fueled by my uncompromising values and on the other hand feelings of jealous rage that I'm not or in some cases, been kept from, being a part of them. I had overwhelmingly positive feelings Sunday, though. I met some interesting people with interesting visions and goals, ate some good vegetarian cuisine - both field roast gyros and catered Soul Vegetarian East - and drank some local mead and great lakes beer. I was delighted to see my place of employment portrayed in a glowingly positive light again - I needed that. It makes me feel good about not taking the corporate jobs I turned down when on many days I tend to curse my values and ideas for bringing me to my level of labor.

I spoke to representatives from a few schools offering 'green MBA' programs. I certainly hadn't considered an MBA in many years and I don't necessarily want to go back to school but at some point I may have to realize I can't get a career/lifestyle I want without one - judging from my own experience that is. After doing some research it became clear that the programs I'm most attracted to are by far the least legitimate and the ones I'm most repelled by - the 'traditional' mba - the opposite. It's no question that I learn better in a nurturing, collaborative environment that a cutthroat, competitive one. To be honest, I can't research consecutively for long amounts of time because the whole thing makes me so nervous.

the burning, oh the burning

2008-05-06T16:01:00.003-05:00

After a 53 hour workweek last week I seem to have gotten a day off on what appears to be the nicest day the city will see in the foreseeable future. So far I've finished reading 'Where I'm Calling From,' picked up the apartment, gotten groceries, taken stacked-up bottles and cans to the recycling center, and listened to the new album of Scarlett Johansson singing Tom Waits covers. Ask me how I feel about the latter, well, later. I did not, as I usually do on a nice day off, go for a ride. On Sunday I went for a pleasant ride which ended up being a long-distance trek to Wolf Lake, Indiana. After nearly sixty miles and four hours in the mid-day sun, my leg is burning like mad. The worst is the sunburn on my kneecap which reminds me with each step I take not to overdo it again. It wasn't all bad, though, I had a nice ride and saw things I hadn't seen before and only once on the south side did I say, "I really shouldn't be here," due to a gap in the cycling signage.

My leg is still burning but things are looking up because I purchased another pint of my latest obsession, goat milk ice cream. A miracle in every cup.

Summer is here and soon I'll have Kalamazoo Brewing Co's 'Oberon.' For now I'll settle for a sale-priced six pack of Victory's 'Whirlwind' - not bad for $7.99. I also purchased lemonade and Green Mountain Salsa - yep, summer is here indeed. Outside I hear the sounds of bells from ice cream carts and the occasional loop of 'do your ears hang low' - now with an urban hip-hop beat.

Work is going great - I was awarded with recognition of statistically being the 'best buyer in the midwest' and for having the most efficient department in the region. I've also been given an exclusive contract with a famous cheesemaker in London and next month I will be one of two midwestern pervayors of a rare raw-milk stilton, a cheese made from the original culture from the middle ages. Things are going smoothly, though, some of my better vendors are having a hard time supplying me due to the goats being in 'kidding season,' which I find charming every time I say it. My CSA this summer has a learing center where this summer they offer a cheesemaking class. I need to remember to sign up for that soon. Xtina is busy, busy, busy and it has become very clear that there is no way for us to do all the things we want to do before the weather gets cold once again. And so it goes.

sunday morning before inventory night

2008-04-13T11:16:00.003-05:00

I'm reading again thanks to the fantastic new website update by the chicago public library. Now entering the 21st century, chicago library patrons can finally place holds and renew books online. It feels good to read. It feels good to start and finish tasks. Thanks to Peter's goodreads profile, I've picked up some interesting and highly enjoyable books and I'm also anticipating his very own book in my mailbox each day I come home from work. It's still not here, Peter.

Xtina is back from Portland and seemingly already wishing she had never returned home. It appears she spent the week gallivanting around the metro area, visiting waterfalls and shopping at small bookstores and specialty food boutiques. After a week of that, who would want to go back to dealing with adult children from behind a grocery store counter all day? We'll get out of here one way or another.

On the bright side, I have someone cooking for me again.

Summer is on its way and with it I've gotten back on the bike again. Last week I completed a trip I had hoped to do last fall but was held back due to construction. Foolishly, I should have waited until I was in better shape to complete the 42 mile ride out of cook county but I made it and almost collapsed at the finish.

We're in the process of planning the summer. We're wide open save for a wedding or two, a concert or two, and ready to get into the outdoors again. We might go backpacking as soon as early June. Of course, I'll have a lot of training to complete by that time. I'm also surprisingly considering shelling out over $200 per ticket to see lollapalooza. Nah, I'm too cheap for that. Surely, our plans will involve coming back home in the near future. I suppose it has been some time already.

Work is a hassle. I had to change the prices on most items this week to catch up to the shitstorm of rising fuel costs, poor dollar/euro exchange rate and skyrocketing demand for milk. Customers are pissed and are letting me know about it. At this point in the US economic crisis, it should be no doubt to anyone that things aren't going well - costs of goods keep climbing while real wages are declining. Why then, when my store raises prices (because I can tell you definitively, I'm paying more for wholesale goods) it's a frivolous money-grab? One thing is certain - this job will change - either in goods offered or shopping habits, things will change. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.

Bells is Back!

2008-03-28T17:54:00.007-05:00

That's right folks, after a year of absence on liquor store shelves all over Cook County Bells Beer is back in Illinois under a new guise. The somewhat unattractive packaging refers to the beer as Kalamazoo Royal Amber Ale. Reportedly, this is the same beer as Bell's Amber (the bottles note that it's brewed and bottled by Bells) which can only mean the name was sold to a new distributer, not the product itself. In a few weeks we'll be getting the 'new' oberon. While I've been exposed to much more enjoyable beer since I lost my bells, (think Three Floyds among others) there is something nostalgic and satisfying about the Beer of my formative drinking years. Summer simply isn't the same without Oberon. There is no word yet on the distribution of Two Hearted Ale or what that may be called. Our favorites so far include Broken Hearted Ale or Cold Hearted Ale.

thick, wet snow

2008-03-21T17:36:00.002-05:00

Just when I thought spring had sprung I get out of work this afternoon to find my car buried in snow. sheesh.

I haven't updated despite having things to write. Now that I'm on I can't seem to remember what they were. I'm also very, very busy. I'm working six days this week and next and I don't have another day off until next week saturday. I suppose I need the money to buy that new bike I'm lusting after. Yesterday I was off with xtina. We had a good day of cleaning, hot dog eating, and new hiking boots buying.

Xtina is leaving me. Well, she's just going to portland to visit her sister for a week but I'm laying on a guilt trip pretty heavily claiming abandonment. I'm still not sure what I'll do for the week or more importantly, what I'll eat. Speaking of which, she should be back from work any minute to start dinner.

buying tix, riding bikes

2008-03-14T16:48:00.003-05:00

At approximately 9:16am today, the following phone call took place:

Old Town School of Folk Music Employee: Hello?

Me: Oh, hi. I've been online trying to get tickets to the Mark Kozelek show in June. It seems that less than fifteen minutes after tickets went on sale they said there weren't two adjacent seats left. I wouldn't normally call, but the website was having problems and I see this as somewhat unlikely.

OTSE: Yeah, tickets went on sale to members about a week ago.

Me: oh (sound of heart breaking). Is it common for tickets to sell out to members?

OTSE: Not especially. I know we didn't sell all of the tickets to tix.com (their 3rd party brokering site) let me see if we have anything left. (long pause) It looks like we still have 170 tickets available.

Me: That's awesome. I just need two.

OTSE: okay, it looks like I still have tickets in the center of rows 1, 2, 5, and 8.

Me: what?

OTSE: you just need two? take your pick of rows 1, 2, 5, and 8.

Me: I guess I'll take two tickets second row center.

OTSE: sounds great. There's no surcharge for phone orders (transaction takes place). Have a great weekend, I'll get those in the Mail today.

Me: (Baffled, Bewildered) Yeah, you too. Thanks.

And that is how I beat out thousands of people for tickets for some of the best seats in the house. Things like that don't typically happen to me. I was so excited I also bought three day passes to the Pitchfork festival while I still could. Yes, the whitest person in the city will be seeing Public Enemy in concert.

I went for a twenty mile bike ride this afternoon and I'm pooped. That was such a short distance last fall. I'm looking forward to getting in better shape again.

I went into a couple of bike shops today. I think I'm going to buy this bike for commuting.

part two

2008-03-08T07:18:00.002-06:00

Despite my greatest efforts, I can't seem to wake up later than 6:30 on my days off. Xtina has no trouble sleeping in - that's what she's doing right now. Basically, I'm on a daylight-based sleep schedule and the only problem is that it's march. Daylight savings is going to mess me up.

I took the bike out for the first time Thursday. The sun was bright and warm and my neighborhood was posting temps in the mid to upper 30's, which in the fall would have been completely unacceptable, but thursday it was good enough for me. By the time I got to diversey harbor the wind had picked up and with it wind chills far below freezing. I crouched below an embankment for warmth and watched ducks and geese walk on the frozen harbor. My bike laying next to me, we were all waiting for spring to arrive.

Xtina is up and bleary-eyed now. I'll try to get us out the door so we can check out the bongo room, a long-standing brunch place in wicker park, when they open to avoid standing in the cold. Oh how I wish I were at SXSW.

Saturday a.m., pre Car Talk

2008-03-01T07:13:00.003-06:00

After sleeping for twelve hours Thursday night, I'm back up at 6:30 this morning - which doesn't seem so bad when it's bright and sunny outside and I can hear birds chirping outside my window. That's one of the many things I enjoy about logan square - birds that aren't pigeons. Christina isn't up yet but when she does emerge from the bedroom I'll be prompt in reminding her that today is the day her relatives are coming into the city and taking her to see 'Jersey Boys.' Xtina is responsible for taking them out to dinner and navigating them through the loop. I'm pretty relieved that I'm working later today. The weekend isn't a total washout, I had yesterday off and I will have tomorrow off. Also, I'll be home in time to see wilco on SNL.

Speaking of Wilco, the show was fantastic. I was delightfully surprised by some of my old faves - pick up the change, box full of letters, blue eyed soul, etc.. and some rarities - bob dylans 49th beard, remember the mountain bed, hesitating beauty. I was also awed by the extended appearance of Andrew Bird and the Bird/Tweedy (not tweedy bird) whistling duet. We were able to get good seats near the center and the band sounded fantastic. I recently got a Tweedy/ Bennett show done in Chicago before the Summerteeth tour at the Old Town School of Folk Music. The show is chock-full of rarities and mermaid avenue tracks.

I recently got tix to see the new pornographers but I just discovered they will be sans Bejar. They could have told me that when I bought the tix. Perhaps I'll buy destroyer tickets at the logan auditorium to compensate. I'm okay with it just as long as they don't announce they'll be without Neko Case, my girlfriend.

Yesterday I had a good day off. Being Feb. 29 I went to the last day one could get into the Hopper/ Homer exhibit at a discounted fare. The Hopper exhibition was great, despite the hoards of people fighting for spots directly in front of NightHawks. Hopper appeals to my taste of Americana, love of simplicity, and interest in New England historical cities in an almost embarrassing way. It warms my heart. I can say I enjoyed every step of his career for different reasons - from new england watercolors to NYC cityscapes and cape cod couples. Homer, on the other hand, was a lot of watercolor seascapes. I don't mean to hate, the exhibit must have had more than 200 pictures, most of which looked strikingly similar and they were so small I couldn't see from the distance I had to stand with the crowds anyway. From there I went to a couple cheese shops to scope out the competish and come up with new ideas for products to carry. I'm trying to make my purchasing more locally-oriented. I've already brought in Zingermans products from Ann Arbor, now I have to research some new creameries in Coopersville, MI, Iowa and Oregon.

My Saturday morning is about to start, I think I'll catch up on my Good Magazine before it's time for some car talk.

answer: that's just the way it is

2008-02-16T16:51:00.003-06:00

Ahh, with my new wireless internet I can sit in the kitchen and make a blog post, watch the sun set behind rows of houses and eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. Yes, Xtina is at work and yes, I suppose I could have eaten peanut butter with a spoon without wireless internet but having that convenience makes it even better. So far today I have picked up the apartment, cleaned the apartment (exaggerated), gone to the lavanderia and done the laundry, washed the car, hung the curtains and washed all the dishes. I am going to have one happy wife when she gets home. That, my friends, is how married life is done.

Tomorrow night is inventory night at work which means I'll be there until 1am counting and by the end of the night we'll see if my first fiscal period as buyer was a success. I'm a bit nervous. I think I've done okay, sales have remained constant but I've increased inventory a little more than I'm happy with. The search to do something entirely different drags on. I'm working on getting at least one weekday off every week so I can volunteer my time and balance my life out a bit and do something I actually feel strongly about. My life is much more enjoyable and balanced than it was a year ago - I'm feeling like myself again - my career problem is simply constantly staring me in the face.

We've been fairly stagnant on dinners lately - although a couple nights ago we had xtina's signature vegan vodka penne, but I've had some great beers. Last night we shared a bottle of framboise lambic out of real lambic glasses. In the last week though I've had the Carolus Easter Ale - in it's U.S. debut, Sara Buckwheat Ale and Goose Islands' surprisingly good bourbon county stout. I've been buying beer and checking in with beeradvocate.com - an outstanding publication.

We'll be back in town next week. I hope to see you at the Hop Cat.

I almost forgot: my wilco concert is Monday. I saw the setlist from last nights show and it looked great. They reported played for three hours. It's going to be awesome.

this just in: peapod.com carries scotch

2008-02-01T17:37:00.001-06:00

I finally did it - today I caved and got cable television and internet installed. I'm already feeling a bit of buyers remorse over the television. I fear my frugality will force me to 'get my money's worth' from my television and I will die cold and alone facing the hum and glow of my tv set. On the other hand, I just watched a show called 'weird u.s.' on the history channel and I haven't seen a minute of vh1. I must use these powers only for good. One day down - I'll take this one day at a time. Getting internet access, on the other hand, was long overdue. I had exhausted my supply of unprotected wireless networks from surrounding houses and had little choice if I was to remain part of the twenty first century.

In a related note I have the new Cat Power album, and while it didn't get great reviews from pitchfork (who never rate two consecutive albums from the same artist favorably)I think it's pretty enjoyable. She didn't change what I liked about 'the greatest'. Next on my list: I must finally get Dr. Dog. He has a track on the latest paste sampler and it kicks ass. Concerts that are coming to Chicago that I must see: Leonard Cohen (first in 20 years!), Sun Kil Moon, the National, the new pornographers and several others. I'm still gazing lovingly at the Wilco tickets in my desk drawer.

Last night we continued our ritual of going to small bar in the afternoon with work friends, drinking too much, eating fried food, and coming home too exhausted to make dinner. I've had pasta for the last four meals and I can't wait for christisha to get home from work in a half hour and make enchiladas. Yum-O!

cooking, buying, brunching

2008-01-19T15:36:00.000-06:00

It's the weekend and I'm actually home. Well, not only that but I'm watching christina cooks - not my wife, christina, cooking but a show on one of our local pbs affiliates called 'christina cooks.' It's a vegan cooking show in which christina's husband (again, not me) performs folk music on the intro and outro to the show. I've decided that I'd like to learn how to play the slide guitar. I'll try and take lessons from an alt-country musician friend of ours and perhaps, in time, I'll be able to play transition music while my wife, christina, cooks.

As already stated, I'm home on the weekend. Many of you don't know this but I recently got a promotion at work which gives me a much better schedule and rate of pay in return for worrying about stuff and trying hard. I'm now a buyer which means I, solely, determine my own product mix and interact with our vendors ordering and receiving product. Naturally, this occurs on weekdays so I'll get at least one weekend day off every week. Nice, I know. Hopefully I can use these skills I've gained to eventually do this type of work for a locally owned business; at which point I can cut some of the overwhelming cognitive dissonance.

In other news, xtina is leaving our store this week for the downtown location. She's bummed about saying goodbye to all her coworker friends but she knows she'll be treated better at a different store. She's giving some consideration into going back to school these days so she may not have to worry about it for too long.

Today, on our quest to conquer every vegetarian restaurant in the city, we 'brunched' at Victory's Banner, a brunch place dedicated to studying the Indian Spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy. The flavors were on the okay side but everything had serious textural problems. Despite the choices we have in vegetarian dining, it seems when we visit a new place we spend the meal talking about how much we love Marie Catribs. Oh how I miss Marie's.

Well, I smell cookies in the kitchen. It appears 'christina cooks' has inspired christina to cook.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2007-12-17T17:10:00.000-06:00

to be sick. Really, though, I always get sick around this time of year so I wasn't surprised when my throat started to get scratchy a few days ago. I'm thinking this may have something to do with running down north avenue at 6am in the dark through four inches of snow trying to get to work.

Last weekend we had our new friends, Chris and Amber, over for a fantastic dinner lovingly prepared by my wife. Spinach strata with mashed potatoes and caramelized shallot gravy and garlic and shallot green beans was served with a wonderful new sonoma table red from work followed by a mango and pear pandoutie. Then - beer, lots of beer. In fact I had apparently done a splendid job of hiding the fact that I got entirely shitfaced. (word won't accept that as one word) After a bottle of wine, a bottle of Ommegang, a six pack of anchor christmas beer and a bomber of old suffolk, I think we were talking a little loudly. That paired with the fact that I typically go to bed at 9:30 these days (i know) I was ready for bed.

Because we were only drinking higher-quality ales I woke up feeling fine. In fact, I had remembered that the public sale for Wilco's five day residency at the Riviera Theatre started at ten a.m. I refreshed my browser at precisely ten and was able to score two tickets. I was surprised. I was so surprised that as soon as the transaction was complete I attempted to go back for more but at 10:05, the tickets for all five shows had been spoken for. While I haven't listened to wilco much lately, they are promising to play each song from their catalog during this residency, each night a unique setlist, making me giddy with excitement. Lately I have been excited about Bishop Allen, The National, the soundtrack to I'm Not There, and a number of unreleased early Joni Mitchell demos and bootlegs I recently acquired.

In other news my lovely Xtina and I will be returning to Grand Rapids for a limited three day engagement. The dates will be January 1st, 2nd and 3rd. This will be our christmas trip. The news alarmed my parents causing them to call me no less than three times last night trying to make, presumably, their first online purchase in a rush to have something for us to open on that sacred January second morning.

maps, maps, maps

2007-12-08T11:35:00.000-06:00

Winter is here and with it our first gas bill in which our antique furnace was on in full. We are pleasantly surprised, especially considering the temperature at which we keep this place in comparison to our last cave of an apartment. The windows are sealed and we're ready for the first big storm of the season. We got a few inches last week which temporarily put an end to our bicycle commuting but it won't hold me back for long.

Last night I went to a christmas party thrown by a colleague of mine who was also fired yesterday. In a word, it was awkward. I was back home before midnight.

This week Xtina and i saw the new Noah Baumbach film, 'margot at the wedding.' We're both fans of his first film, 'the squid and the whale.' We found the movie entertaining, albeit a tad overwrought. It reminded me of 'little children' in the acting, subject matter and the two are also confounded by starring Nicole Kidman. I'm trying to get out and see 'I'm not there,' whose soundtrack is great with the exception of a few butchering tracks. I also have to see 'no country for old men' and now 'juno' as well as 'the savages.' We must be rounding the corner to oscar season because I haven't wanted to see so many movies at the same time for as long as I can remember.

To those of you who live in chicago: This week I saw the exhibit 'Maps: finding our place in the world' at the field museum. Simply put, it's really awesome. I spent over three hours in the one exhibit. From the Divinci map to Ptolemy's map of Rome, the Tolkien maps to the maps from the 'golden age of sea trade' in the Netherlands and the native american maps - I was fascinated. I must have been slackjawed the entire afternoon. I even used a map to get there! I'll probably go again. Also in the city: Lewis and Clarke: mapping the american west, a free exhibit at the newberry library. Perhaps I'll go back to school for cartography.

posting from work again

2007-11-29T06:15:00.000-06:00

I've arrived at work early this morning due to Christina's 6am start time and my desire to not ride to work in single-digit wind chills. I guess this is where my quest to ride to work year round ends. Like my early fall determination to keep the heat off until thanksgiving, cold reality has ended my unreasonable aspiration.

Work is fine - these days I spend my early mornings listening to dylan while receiving and ordering cheese, talking about european politics with my bosnian co-worker, and riding to work in the cold (until today). No complaints - still isn't my dream job but I'm thankful for it everyday, especially when I look at area job postings. It certainly has gotten my work ethic back. I no longer spend my days reading boing boing and posting here. I happen to be off the clock right now. I was starting to get worried that my definition of work had changed to be consumed by bordom and internet surfing as opposed to actual labor.

Christina enjoyed the birthday presents I got her including a nice bottle of wine and two vegan cookbooks, one being 'the veganomicon.' We went out with friends in andersonville for some discounted alpha king and one beer too many.

All in all: not too much happening over here. We watched the first two installments of 'the up series' last night. This will be our new obsession.

greatest weakness - Eczema

2007-11-08T10:36:00.000-06:00

It's all over my right hand - all red and itchy, it burns when I put lotion on it. I'm never washing my hands again. It showed up after I rode into work on a cold wet day without gloves.

We had a good weekend last weekend despite the eczema, returning home for the weekend to celebrate our birthdays. Unfortunately, due to work, it will be the last time we return home before the new year. Retail sucks. The new GRAM is great - well, the building is great, they need to do something about their paltry art collection and the way their gallery space is set up only to make the viewer feel lost. While in town we did the usual of seeing nick and jason and eating at marie catribs at least once. Christina's goal of seeing Tim and Anjie's Nathaniel didn't pan out, but maybe it's best she isn't around babies.

Grand Rapids is looking cleaner and more vibrant each time we come. Perhaps the city is actually getting cleaner or perhaps we're getting used to how dirty chicago is. The city doesn't seem to be physically suffering the political problems described by its citizens. I suppose, though, turmoil and downturn is a process and not an event. Whenever I return I want to move back immediately but when I leave I'm not as ready to relocate. I do want to own a house more each time I return. And with home prices as they are in the city (and surprisingly not increasing much) that dream could come true.

Today - figure out what to do with the car as we were rear-ended by a cab last night. We're both okay and the car isn't damaged too much - some dents and bangs in the rear bumper. We went to the california street police station immediately where the officers were surprisingly helpful but the cab dispatcher was expectantly unhelpful and seemingly intoxicated. Now that it's light out, I'll give it a second look.

where the good lord flung it

2007-10-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

After a long vacation we are safe and sound in our surprisingly chilly apartment. We both have the day off and I'm spending the morning catching up on all the latest goings-on in the interweb while xtina is watching 'la haine' in the other room. Unfortunately, our camera (or perhaps the memory card) went completely haywire during the trip and I only have a few photos that I can access without a 'system error' or 'faulty parameter' message which means that while I had the intention of filling this post with stunning photos from our camping excursion and the wedding, I won't be able to do so.

Zach's wedding was fantastic. We're very impressed by kansas city - from what we can tell a hip, recovering urban area with a low cost of living. It was great to see the likes of zach and alex, ben and josiah once again. The road just as exhilarating as I hoped it would be. It had been months since I had traveled faster than forty miles an hour. I never used to get such a thrill out of driving as I do now. I wanted to stop at every oversized plaster dinosaur and tourist-oriented distillery on the way.

Camping went great as well. Highs in the seventies and lows in the fifties made for perfect outdoors sleeping weather. Much of the park was in peak color change season. I wish I had the photos to show you. We hiked over fifty miles and on a couple days hiked over a vertical mile in one hike. We're in better shape than we had expected and are now focused on backcountry camping. We're just a few items short of being prepared to do so. We hiked to the peak of mt le conte despite the mist rushing up the face of the mountain leaving us clutching the wire and on Friday saw a bear in the wild attempting to break into a tent in a backcountry campsite. I was scared and wanted to hide but xtina stood her ground and we watched the bear until it left. We spent some time on the appalachian trail and fantasized about hiking it together. I can hardly imagine how mando felt hiking to clingmans dome, the highest point on the AT and being greeted by senior citizens bus tours and overweight southerners out for a sunday drive in their hummer. Hiking from cades cove to the summit of thunderhead mountain was much more rewarding.

We're back, now, and I can absorb the new radiohead record and get back to work. Today I believe xtina and I might see 'i want someone to eat cheese with' and perhaps I'll see 'the darjeeling limited' with matt and jonathan tomorrow. I'll try and keep you more updated.

Also, while I'm thinking about it; I witnessed an elderly southern woman describe how to use a portable toilet using the phrase 'just let it fly where the good lord flung it.' It was fantastic.

day off

2007-10-04T18:18:00.000-05:00

I'm still around, I simply haven't had much to say as of late. The weeks are passing at an incredible rate and we're leaving for our trip next weekend already. Today I had a day off alone. I took the opportunity to sleep in 'til 8am, which is totally refreshing when you're used to getting up at 5am to ride your bike in the dark four miles to work to stir olives. I visited the museum of contemporary art, a museum that xtina doesn't always care for so it's best I go alone. The exhibition right now is 'sympathy for the devil' - pieces pertaining to the intersection of art and rock music. Really, it wasn't so much visual art + rock as it was 'art rock.' If you're a fan of the velvet underground, you should check it out. I spent about three hours in one exhibition (due to all the video installations). Like most exhibits at the mca, it's all concept and very little focus.

I have new albums from beirut, iron and wine, bishop allen, sea wolf, devendra banhart and several others. It'll take me a while to get through them. But that's what thirty hours in the car is for.

That's Right - A New Design

2007-09-18T17:46:00.000-05:00

I have just finished working for the day and am about to enjoy a couple consecutive days off. First, new bar on the north side with some new/old friends, hot dougs tomorrow for lunch and a birthday party tomorrow night with becky. I can't wait. We'll have a great mid-week weekend.

My landlords/downstairs neighbors are on vacation. I get a few days rest from cigarette smoke, loud CNN and elderly marital bickering usually envolving things like the appropriate way to turn off a garden hose. I'm hoping that by the time I'm seventy five I'll have run out of things to yell at xtina about. In all honesty, they aren't bad neighbors or landlords and their antics are well worth it to live here.

We have decided on a vacation destination for mid October...Great Smoky Mountain National Park. It isn't exactly on the way home from kansas city but it'll be warm enough and we finally have enough money saved to be able to go somewhere fun. We have our site reserved and everything. Site C63, here we come!

block party

2007-09-11T10:42:00.000-05:00

This weekend marked the 11th annual hideout block party. Xtina and I were in attendance with some new friends. Among the headliners were Andrew Bird and the Frames. My favorite act was mucca pazza. Becky, you were right about mucca pazza this whole time and I'm sorry I didn't go see them with you sooner.

Things are fine at work. It appears I didn't get the position at NW law - I'm not particularly surprised at this. I'm having a hard time applying for something new as I'm not actually aspiring to do something else. I simply don't know what else I could do. At least I have a job and I'm making an income doing something. All in all, I don't have too many complaints.

It's markedly cooler in the city today. The air is more crisp and I'm ready to spend some quality time in the outdoors. The family camping trip will be made, this year, in-conjunction with the Garcia-Campbell wedding in beautiful Kansas City. The problem is - there isn't much to do around that area and we can't exactly camp in the rockies in mid october. The plan at this point is to return to Great Smoky Mountain National Park - which isn't on the way to anything. Does anyone have any other ideas? The Ozarks, perhaps? Dogpatch, USA?

beer run

2007-08-29T11:35:00.000-05:00

Last night Xtina and I took a spontaneous trip to the Three Floyds brewery located in an industrial corridor in beautiful munster, indiana. The trip was prompted by my department at the store getting two cases of three floyds' Gumballhead delivered and immediately disbursed to those working at the time. The beer is incredible, people. I'm talking about life-changing good beer. The delivery was notable due to the fact that we can never get the product in because demand for their beer far outweighs supply.

I had the Romulus and the Drunk Monk, Xtina the Milk Stout (highly recommended, she adds behind me) and the Gorch Fock. The best of all is Gumballhead, buy Gumballhead.

Today we both have the day off of work. So far we have spent it reading the newspaper and watching Oprah's two year anniversary expose on hurricane Katrina. In a few minutes we will go grocery shopping and hot dog eating. Oh wait, that link says the restaurant is closed. I guess we'll go somewhere else. Where else can I get a good Veggie Hot Dog in this town?

new tunes, summer plans

2007-08-27T19:29:00.000-05:00

Based on the recommendations of several individuals, Xtina and I are starting 'Freaks and Geeks: the complete series' on DVD. I'll be sure to give a full rundown when we're finished, as we've only seen the pilot thus far.

I'm going into work everyday and doing my best. I still enjoy the people with whom I work but I'm still casually looking for something else. It's been hard working up the motivation to apply to more jobs, despite the terrible schedule I've been on; it seems I have things back in order. I have a nice place to live, I'm getting back into music again (seek out the new Caribou album) and I can't imagine feeling the way I did only a few month ago.

We're planning a trip to beautiful Kansas City - on the Kansas side for Zach's wedding. From there we're considering camping in the smoky mountains but that has yet to be determined. Besides that we don't have many plans. A summer vacation is better late than never.

Be sure to read Metal's newly-maintained blog as he galavants about his new hometown - the city of brotherly love.

Rookie of the Month

2007-08-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

This morning at my 6:30am all-store meeting, I was voted on as a full-fledged team member as well as given the store "Rookie of the Month" award - and a $50 gift card. So, things are going well at the store and I seem to be shedding my superiority complex on the jobsite (after all, I went to Calvin College). Out of nowhere, however, I have been granted a phone interview for a good position with Northwestern Law. I'm super conflicted about the job, should it be offered to me, but my general idea is that I should choose a different career path than my spouse and use my degree in something more useful than explaining the subtle differences between Brie de Meux and Brie de Nangis. I've also been riding my bike to work three and a half miles each way every day. It actually takes only slightly longer by bike than by car. It's refreshing and gets me ready for the day. I'm earning money and feeling better than I have in a long time. I think I'm getting back to myself - this year finally seems to be over.

In other news I've recently started downloading music again. I just got the new Beirut e.p. and Spoon's new one: ga ga ga ga ga. I like them both upon first listen. Perhaps I'll give a review on a later date.

the new place

2007-07-26T11:49:00.000-05:00

We're in the new apartment now. The move, exhausting and tedious, went fine. Boxes are still littering the kitchen and the smell with which we were greeted is now beginning to fade. I can't believe the amount of space - and light! I think we'll enjoy being here; solving a few minor plumbing problems will help. It's so quiet. Logan Square is a wonderful, safe neighborhood, though lacking the dining and entertainment options we grew accustomed to in bucktown.

I leave for work in a couple hours and I'm trying to find constructive ways to spend my time as Xtina is working the morning shift today. Working at Whole Foods is going well - I'm surprised how much I like it. I work with some great people and I'm learning interesting things about fine cheese. My parents think I should stay here as a career position but I can't say I'm terribly satisfied with working in a grocery store, giving up my nights and weekends and serving customers. I must say I've been somewhat offended at my parents comments; sure, they just want me to be content and I know I have difficulty in that department, but I'd like to believe that my own parents would think I'm destined for better things than the service sector. Now I have to find my way out. I've stopped applying for outside jobs for the moment. The people are so great I couldn't up and leave weeks after starting, but I'm afraid the longer I wait the less chance I have of getting a job outside the service sector. The graduate school search is at a standstill - I don't know what to study and I don't have the guts to pick something and go.

But for the moment, I'm fine. I'm making money, eating and sleeping well. We got our couch yesterday, ending a two year search for such an item.

Discovery I'm most excited about: wifi signal! It's low and slow, but works.

address changes, moving vans, 12 month aged manchego

2007-07-21T10:45:00.000-05:00

Perhaps this has been the most unique week in my Chicago tenure. I started working at whole foods this week. I got to a point where I needed to get out of the house and start earning a living and whole foods was definitely the best option considering the circumstances. My new job seems to be going well - I work with some great people and I'm learning more about the worlds' fine cheeses than I thought was possible. I'm not too keen on the 4:30am wake up calls, my lack of nights, mornings and weekends, embarrassing ill-fitting uniforms and snooty rich folks who got the jobs that I didn't, but at least I'm a member of the workforce and I've got a bit of cash on hand.

This week I saw The Decemberists in a free show with the Grant Park Symphony Orchestra. I was a bit disappointed by the show - the marriage of indie rock and orchestra didn't seem to mesh as was intended. The Tribune agreed. The turnout was incredible - 15,000 people (who were able to get in the door). I was fortunate to have a wife who was willing to kill her afternoon sitting in line so we could sit in the 25th row. We rode our bikes home in the pouring rain and Xtina's harry potter book got ruined (no, not the new one). I made fun of her for reading harry potter. The following evening we saw the free taping of "wait wait don't tell me," also in the Pritzker Pavilion in Millenium Park. The show was good but the panelists where somewhat mediocre. We thought the show would have done well to include our favorite panelist - Paula Poundstone or perhaps Mo Rocca.

We stop by our new apartment today and pay the first month's rent. We move this coming Tuesday. We are so far from being ready; I think we're both so busy we're a little in denial about it's impending stress.

back to town

2007-07-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

I think I'm going to come back to town for a while this week. I need to decompress for a bit. Also, I need to catch metal before he becomes the next one to skip town. Xtina is working like crazy these days and I wouldn't see her much anyway. I've been married for over two years now and this will be the first time we've slept apart since being wed.

Not much else to say around here. Pitchfork is this coming weekend and the weather should be better than it has been. Next weekend we can move into our new place - such an idea brings so many worries for me I prefer not to think about it.

Our landlord has our current apartment listed with two different agencies right now and they're parading people through our stuff almost daily. They're having a hard time renting it - it doesn't help that he raised the rent and it was overpriced before.

moving time again

2007-06-29T11:49:00.000-05:00

We signed on a new apartment last week. It's 2bedrooms plus office over 1,200 square feet. And while it's a little hacked-up, there are some charms like original woodwork and hutch. The place is much, much better than our current place - and the same price. It does mean that we have to move neighborhoods, however, from bucktown to logan square about 1.5 miles northwest. We're pretty excited about it but I can't get myself to start on the terrible ordeal that is the moving process.

I've been waking up absurdly early lately. For the last couple of weeks I've been getting up anytime between 5:30 and 7 and sitting on the couch staring at the ten-minute morning news loop until I can convince myself to eat something, shower and hit the library. It's a strange feeling, getting up that early and not doing anything. I feel like I'm there while everyone else gets up, in intervals people all over the city wake, ready themselves, and go to work. And I'm there - in one way at least. Like I'm watching all this happen without ever seeing a soul. I think this has been happening because xtina has me on these homeopathic mood-altering pills. I tell her, "homeopathic? That means it doesn't work, right?" She decided I should try them after I became so depressed I couldn't make decisions on my own anymore - I would freak out just tying to decide what to have for dinner. I feel like they're doing something to me emotionally, but whether or not they're 'working' has yet to be determined.

Doing something about it is probably the best move as I was unable to even apply for jobs or deal with temp agencies anymore. But can you blame me; a year of unemployment, four temp agencies and 75+ mostly entry level jobs applied to at several different sites. I haven't worked a full week all year. I've worked eight part-time weeks in '07. I'm closing-in on getting a job with whole foods - it isn't how I want to spend my calvin education and I'll miss my nights, weekends and holidays, but I'm looking forward to working for a paycheck and getting my life back. I'm so tired of looking for work, I can't go to craigslist without cringing and I'm still dreaming of that awful job experience almost every night.

We don't have any plans to come back to GR at the moment. I suppose if it were up to me I'd already be there. We'll probably make a move like last time and show up unannounced and bum around town for a couple of days. Now that we're moving in to a bigger place and can put people up, we'd like to have people come down and visit more often. Anytime you need a place to stay in chicago, just give me a call.

Zoo Adventure 2K7

2007-06-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Xtina had the day off so we decided to go to Lincoln Park Zoo for the afternoon. We were hoping to see the rare baby wolf bred into captivity but we couldn't find it.

First we walked through the entrance and I begged xtina to let me rent a paddleboat shaped like a swan - she said no:

The tiger was sleeping:

I scared off the lion with my cat-like ferociousness:

After being kicked out of the zoo, Xtina took some pictures of flowers in the conservatory before the battery died:

Now I'm at my local public library watching a mashup of 'do the right thing' and 'sesame street' in ten second increments to keep myself from laughing.

anniversary excursion

2007-05-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

On Monday Xtina and I decided we should visit GR - thirty minutes later we were on the road. She had tuesday and wednesday off for our anniversary: two years as of yesterday - what more romantic and exotic locale than my parents house in west michigan! And while it was our most spontaneous trip to GR, it was one of the most fulfilling. Plans came together and we were able to see Peter in his natural environment, as well as Jason and Sarah. Nick - I hope you're feeling better, Jason had told us you didn't look so good.

I've decided that I have to make some work of getting back to school - I'm giving some serious consideration to library science (a field I was planning on going into before this terrible move interrupted my life as it has). I'll be honest - I'm pretty lost, I haven't a clue what I'm doing. I'm sure it's been easy to see from the outside but now that I've come to the realization I can take a job at whole foods or something and work on getting my life together.

I have an interview with a large employee benefits corporation next week. I'm not sure it's what I want so I decided to be honest in the phone interview. I said I'm not a 'suit and tie' person and that I don't work terribly fast during the phone interview and they scheduled a face-to-face anyway. I'll check it out. The pay isn't great. I've also applied to Northwestern's library and the Chicago public library - even if I get either position it will take them months to hire me.

...and shove it

2007-05-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

Well, so much for that idea. Yesterday I quit my job. And yes, I'm disappointed that it didn't work out, but not disappointed that I won't be returning to that office again. I'd prefer not to get into details regarding my terms of departure, but I will say that it became appearant already on the second day that I didn't want to be with the organization and it became clear to them they didn't want me there. In fact, they said some things to me that I'm having a hard time shaking. I think every young 21st century male wants to believe that passing words won't effect him, but I'll admit that I tend to take things personally.

The point is: I've got to figure something out because this clearly isn't working.

I don't want to do this temp-agency bs again. I think I'm going to apply for whole foods and come up with a more dynamic plan. Perhaps I need to be back in school.

smokestacks and skyscrapers

2007-05-05T14:54:00.000-05:00

I started the new job this week. I went immediately from working at the MS Society on Monday to the non-profit consulting firm Tuesday. And while I don't want to entirely devulge how I feel the new position is going, I can say I have mixed feelings. Perhaps it's the first week, perhaps it's my place in life, but I'm not completely convinced. Maybe I built it up as the job that I would be ecstatic to start each morning - to lift me out of boredom and make sense of my life. I'm considering alternative ways to be honest about it. I guess what I'm most disappointed about is the fact that nothing can just be okay - I'm sure it's just as much me as it is the job climate. I understand that it seems at times that I complain about everything, but I don't write here to paint a rosey picture of how things are going - I can do that with relatives without this aid. I think increasingly I'm more confused about what I want to do with my life in general and each new thing I start I want it to resolve that feeling while I know that's simply not possible.

I've become increasingly frustrated with the city. Chicago is a playground for the wealthy and a metal trap for the down-and-out. I realized last week that assuming safety, I would rather live among relative poverty that relative wealth. I'm tired of wealthy people in my neighborhood raising their noses as I pass, doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact. I'm sick of people who feel the world owes them something - those who live in luxury with no consideration for those around them and how they effect their immediate surroundings. Also, I don't like being made to feel small and subsequently being forced to feel large. I'm beginning to see the appeal in a life of isolation in the country.

I purchased the new 'Feist' album this week. I'm surprised by the disagreement among critics. Pitchfork gave it an 8.8, all songs considered called it the best music of her career, while the guys at 'sound opinions' had very little good to say about it. I think it's good - I feel more could have been done to make it a better album - amplify it's positive traits. I still like 'let it die' better. Recently I've also purchased an 'antony and the johnsons' album and I'm planning on purchasing the new wilco and rufus wainwright discs upon their release.

Shoddy Umbrellas, Life Under Netflix

2007-04-11T10:55:00.000-05:00

This morning I awoke to find the city covered in a thick layer of shit. I'm not sure how xtina got to work as she left me our one household umbrella which happened to turn inside out on my way to the bus stop - in the comical fashion that it does on television weather reports and commercials for jamaica. Work is feeling like bethany today. I've got my ipod plugged into the speakers and my only source of tasks was an hour and a half late this morning.

In netflix news- justin has accepted my friend invitation. I like this feature so if anyone reading this has a netflix account, we can be netflix bff. We recently watched 'Time Indefinite,' another film from Ross McElwee - a documentary filmmaker we're into these days. If you haven't seen anything from him, get 'Sherman's March.' We also liked 'Half Nelson,' despite it teetering on the cliched theme of "teacher learns from students as students learn from teacher." I loved, however, just how brokenness of the protagonist and dialogue and setting. Beautiful. Also, we are the last two people in the country to fall in love with 'Six Feet Under.' The show, not the metal band. One season down, four to go.

Yesterday, in a rare occurance, Xtina and I had the same day off. We walked through the neighborhood. I purchased a french connection blazer from crossroads trading co. ($15!)and Xtina bought "a heartbreaking work of staggering genious" by dave eggers because the more I think about it, the more I liked it. Finally, we went to a local tatoo parlor (religious iconography themed) and, after 6 1/2 years, got my earring taken out. I'm not sure why I was nervous, he simply grabbed it and popped it out - In an establishment with which I have nothing in common by a young man with whom I have nothing in common. My new job requires that I can't have it in case we meet with "a more conservative philanthropist." She was, on the phone, very apologetic about it and concerned that I was offended they would even suggest the removal. I was not.

This Friday is Ben's 'Friday the Thirteenth' party. I'm hoping it will take me back to the days of social optimism I experienced upon moving here. I need to meet some new people. Next Wednesday Xtina and I are going to see the Decemberists and My Brightest Diamond and the immediately following Friday (20-22) we will be returning to Grand Rapids for the weekend. We hope to see you there. Yes you.

the prophesy fulfilled

2007-03-27T12:26:00.000-05:00

If you are one of my myspace 'friends' then you probably already know: I Got A Job! I won't go into too much detail right now but it's with a small firm located in my neighborhood that consults npo's and philanthropists in various managerial and operational issues. Thanks to all of you who put up with me complaining about being broke. We should go to the bar and celebrate!

In other news on the homefront: Beginning this weekend we will be babysitting my 17 year old "establishment-hating" younger brother. And while I'm a little relieved that he isn't 18 (can't drag me along to rage/punk/emo/rock shows full of kids from wilmette mad at their parents) it puts me at a great disadvantage in terms of finding things we can do that we'll all enjoy. I'm fine with museums, but he didn't sound as keen on the idea. Suggestions? Let me know-

part two

2007-03-09T11:51:00.000-06:00

I caved and bought a tv last night. It's a 27 inch sharp flatscreen less than three years old: $100. I know, I know, I didn't want to spend that much, but everyone on craigslist wanted to sell me their tv's in a week and a half (why post it, then?). We got the phone call last night and drove to lakeview to pick it up, spending about thirty minutes trying to find a place to park - why I live on the west side. Some young couple in a new condo that xtina and I agreed "do something." We could never be friends with these poeple, and they clearly thought us to be strange. Very little eye contact was made and we were in and out in seconds. We lugged it down the stairs and out to the street (they never offered to help) and soon realized that it was not going to fit in the car. This is a much larger television than I thought it would be. After shoving and maneuvering, a spark on my hand and calling andrew for help, we get it in the front seat and drive carefully home. We set it up in the living room - it looks obtrusive - we are now 'tv people.' There is discoloration on the screen. We are upset and saddened - maybe not just for the television, but for the culumative feeling of not being able to do anything without problems. This morning the discoloration was gone. And I was rejected for another job in which I was described as a 'sure thing.' I saw the description. I'm overqualified. They insist I'm 'not a strong candidate.' And so it continues... I've taken a part-time temporary job with a foundation for a disease. The tax return wasn't what we were planning and I should get out of the house anyway.

and now our tv is broken

2007-03-07T14:49:00.000-06:00

This morning xtina attempted to turn on the television and the tv was unresponsive. This led me to pace nervously between the living room and kitchen, back and forth - kitchen, living room. After plugging it into several outlets I was able to concede - I'm sorry, she's gone. I never got a chance to say goodbye. Now what will I do for six hours a day? The early morning was spent at various low-end electronics stores. I simply can't spend $150 for a tv that isn't as good as the one I had. I've emailed a dozen people on craigslist with used tv's for sale - then again, we all know my luck with anything craigslist. What's next? A complimenary kick in the groin? I know, it's just a tv - but it's more than that - it's the culmination of many things, the tv just being the most recent. I'm trying to get something together before american idol tonight at seven.

Movies:

Sophie Scholl: the final days: fantastic
The Passenger: not very good
Tideland: terrible

through a cellophane window

2007-02-23T11:09:00.000-06:00

Last weekend xtina and I returned to our native city. We loved seeing all those we got a chance to see. 'Props' to nick and brooke for putting us up. we desparately needed a weekend away from chicago and all the problems associated with our situation.

This week:

2 more rejections (of which one was "in the bag")
1 more temp agency joined (3 total and I haven't worked since x-mas)
5 weekdays I haven't left the house
17 hours at the library - which feels more like an office
8 jobs applied for
1 new resume created
1 meeting nervously arranged with executive dad vaguely knows but promised I'd call

Last night I dreamt that I received, as a gift, a box (about two cubic feet) with a cellophane window and animals painted on the outside. I opened the box and laid it's contents on the rug. Out poured live animals: 1 small cat, 1 small bird, 1 small horse, and 2 small dogs. They were tired from the box and cellophane. They ran around my living room in a motion very much like that in 'the science of sleep.' And I cried because I felt bad for the animals - somehow I knew they were raised in a lab and led miserable lives and also because I couldn't take care of them and the giver of this gift simply didn't understand.

guest voice in my head: john waters

2007-02-13T11:35:00.000-06:00

I can't seem to get this out of my head. The song was featured on 'all songs considered' in their 'guest dj john waters' episode.

In other news, I will be returning to grand rapids this weekend - don't worry, I'm not expecting any cake.

lonely rivers flow to the sea

2007-01-18T10:51:00.001-06:00

Hi folks. I know it's been a while since I last wrote. The truth is I was withholding writing another post until I had some very good news to report. I couple of weeks ago I believed I was close to this but after what I believed to be an outstanding interview my calls are not being returned. For a time I got my hopes up and believed that by getting employed in what I could classify as 'dream job,' all the feelings of loss could be resolved - also, we could get out of our freezing tiny apartment sooner than later. And I refuse to believe these things happen to me because I 'don't pray hard enough.' The truth of the matter is... I am humiliated. Almost six months in a city of three million people and I'm jobless. The very thought that potential employers are calling references of mine I haven't seen in six months is embarrasing.

Since my last post not too much has happened. We didn't go home for christmas, instead we walked from our apartment to the magnificent mile and downtown. The city was abandoned. I took photos that day and the day prior - you can view them here. This holiday season felt less like christmas than any in memory - but that's another depressing post I decided not to write.

I finished 'the devil in the white city.' Afterwards I drove to graceland cemetary to visit my favorite characters and chicago magnates. Next time the weather gets warmer I'll go to jackson park and soak in the site. Next I may finally get around to reading 'the great gatsby.' sorry karl.

Tonight Xtina and I will be seeing Ryan Adams in concert at the house of blues. It will be the first event we've attended since moving. I received the tickets as a present from my mother. I can't wait but I'm afraid xtina won't enjoy it as the show will be starting when she normally goes to bed - and she has to get up at her usual time to go to work the next morning.

We've watched four hours of american idol in the last two days. I've always loved the first round (embarrasingly, because it is unrepentantly low-brow) but this season I have different feelings about the tone-deaf. Maybe on some level I relate to their rejection - their high hopes and certainty being systematically crushed. It didn't help the comparison when christina likened my singing that of the young man in seattle last night who sang 'unchained melody' by the righteous brothers.

solitaire factory

2006-12-21T13:04:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it seems I work in a solitaire factory. Everyone is busy - clicking mice - a phone ringing in the distance -productivity appears high, but all we do here is solitaire. Sure, 'real' work is being done at certain times of the day - but not all, or most. Because this is my only means of earning a living at the moment, I have to appear to be working all day (despite being given no tasks to complete) and volunteer to stay at the office longer than I'm expected. I'm not sure why they insist on me being here - they know that no work is being done - and because I'm a temp, I'm costing them an outrageous amount of money. Craigslist has almost nothing but scams this week. Idealist and npo are pretty dry as well.

Christmas at home went surprisingly well, albeit a little short-lived. It's over now and couldn't be farther from my mind

Update: Today is the last day of exams for most law students. Everyone is coming into the office WASTED. This is very different from my Calvin experience.

Further Update: I've discoverd something more annoying than being surrounded by drunk people while you're sitting stone sober: being sourrounded by loud, drunk, affluent law students while you're sitting at work counting down the minutes to five o'clock.

chappy chanukkah

2006-12-14T13:31:00.000-06:00

Yup, I'm still bored at work. I have one more week in student affairs and then, as it turns out, I'm back to my starting point. That's right; no job for me in the legal clinic. However, yesterday I applied to two more positions here and I received a letter from wbez chicago letting me know I'm still in the running for a position I applied for almost two months ago.

Last night the wife and I had dinner with matt and mandy followed by a classic west michigan treat: eucre.

Tomorrow night xtina's sister is coming in from portland and we'll all go back home for an early christmas.

Lately christina has been making Hanukkah cakes. Because neither of us have a vast knowledge of this holiday, we've been coming up with creative things to put atop the cakes. Some of our favorites include "chappy chanukkah," "wouldn't jew rather celebrate christmas?" a full headshot of Barbara Streisand and, in borat fashion, decorating the cakes with money or a scene from 'the running of the jew.'

Next time you see christina, tell her "chappy chanukkah."

Care to share any other creative ideas?

thursday

2006-12-07T15:54:00.000-06:00

This week is absolutely crawling along. Sometimes I wish I could just work forty hours in one sitting so I could get right to the weekend and not deal with getting up and going to work five times a week. I thought it was thursday yesterday until about noon.

Tomorrow I will most likely going to an art reception in the west loop for the 'marushka preservation project' from GR. I think it will be funny to see the art crowd mingling amongst a bunch of marushkas, a decor I more associate with a nick reynolds apartment than an art exhibition. I figure I like g-radders, marushkas, and art receptions, so I'll probably have a good time.

Following the reception, xtina and I are going to a christmas party hosted by friends in rogers park. It's good to go out on the weekends and see my friends.

Xtina got her job promotion; she'll now be making more money, working better hours, and not dealing with customers. We're pretty excited.

winter is here

2006-12-01T13:23:00.000-06:00

Today is the first day of winter in the city. Ice-cold wind and inches of sleet. Just two days ago it was almost sixty-five degrees. I waited in the cold and snow/ice mixture for almost a half hour for the bus. By the time I got on I was wet to the skin, shivering, and contemplating going home.

Xtina and I had people over last night. Being a weeknight, we didn't have as many people as we had wanted, but we had fun nonetheless. Also, being a weeknight I (of course) drank too much which sealed my fate for this morning. Now I'm achey, I have a headache, and I want to go home and watch season four of 'mr. show' fresh in from netflix.

Today is 'first friday' at northwestern meaning the campus is full of students because they serve free food and beer. Free beer - on campus. It's a far cry from my experience at calvin.

I've just been given my first task of the day. I should go

I need a good name for our new Rat Terrier

2006-11-28T15:41:00.000-06:00

Xtina and I have decided that our lives will be complete if and only if we get our own rat terrier puppy. I want you to take a good look at the picture provided and tell me that you don't want one too. Teddy Roosevelt had one! And many say 'nipper,' the dog on the RCA logo, is a rat terrier. Oh, how I love rat terriers.

Working in student affairs has been fine. I have enough time between clerical projects to perform important endeavors, such as researching rat terriers as well as political parties in dutch parliament, or the "tweede kamer." When I was in holland for the '03 election I loved learning about all the parties and the process. They just had another election last week which resulted in a huge win for the socialist party. Metal and I met a young socialist party member in Middleburg who gave Metal his party membership card because "it's important not to have any identification on you 'in case something happens.'"

Thanksgiving was good, we drove to Madison (which is a longer drive than we thought) to have a vegetarian feast with my sister, brother in law and his parents.

Last night we saw 'the devil and daniel johnston' which was great, the night prior we finally watched 'an inconvenient truth' which was also great, but for different reasons.

I'm back at work, I'm not sure when I'll get my interview, and I've decided not to spend time worrying about it. Instead I'll watch 'a charlie brown christmas' tonight on TV.

Two Years of Excellence, or uh, blogging

2006-11-27T16:40:00.000-06:00

While I don't have any time to update today and there isn't much new to say anyway, I'm pointing out that today is the two year anniversary of my blog. While I once saw this as a chore, I now enjoy being able to access a day-to-day account of all my adventures in the past two years. I'll try to update soon.

kevdek

sitting, thinking about driving - I mean really driving

2006-11-20T10:15:00.000-06:00

I'm at northwestern and I'm just sitting around. I'm not sure why they want me to be here but both of my colleagues don't have much for me (or themselves) to do. That is, unless spending an hour looking at my horoscope is something to do.

At least I'm 'working;' is what I say.

I decided this past weekend to venture out of my apartment and my myself socially vulnerable again. Friday Xtina and I went to a party with friends (haven't done that in years) and Saturday I went to 'Kenny's Art Gallery Cabaret' with Becky.

Xtina is working more hours this week than either of us ever have and I have Thursday and Friday off. She'll get out of work at 2:30 on Thursday and we'll drive to Madison to have Thanksgiving lentil loaf with my sister. My mother likes to call it 'tofurkey.' She thinks it's the funniest word she's ever heard. I recall having a conversation last weekend regarding wheather Madison is 'the portland of the midwest' or 'the ann arbor west of the lake.'

I'm actually really excited to drive there. It doesn't occur often that I drive somewhere I've never been. I miss driving. In fact, I've been thinking lately about all the great times I've had driving in my past. Somehow with every defining moment in my life since age sixteen I have a very distinct driving association. Vacations, concerts, funerals, etc... I've done a lot of good thinking in my time behind the wheel. Chicago isn't good for driving. You rarely get over 25mph and the whole experience makes me more angry than anything. Frequently I want to drive out of the city until I can look around and see no one, just for the experience of being alone again. It seems everyone here has a love/hate relationship with the city. Everyone has their own "F*** this city" moment.

returning to the grind, another lame dream

2006-11-13T12:18:00.000-06:00

Last weekend was wonderful. We came back to grand rapids and stayed with our good friends and gratious hosts, Nick and Brooke, who saw that we had a comfortable stay in their beautiful eastown apartment. We went to mulligans, saw friends, and drank like I haven't since I moved. And while I feel homesick for grand rapids and the quality of life it delivers, I'm determined to make it work here despite our insuing depression.

This past weekend was good too, I reconnected with becky and andrew and learned how to play ping-pong to a respectable degree. Saturday morning I woke up and purchased two tickets to see Ryan Adams at the house of blues. And while it isn't typical of me to spend money I don't exactly have, I rationalized the purchase the night before with the incoherent slurs of 'Ryan Adams is on the top of my list of acts to see that I haven't yet, you know, of the ones I can still see, you know that aren't dead yet.' Regardless, I have my tickets (which sold out the minute after I made the purchase) and can't wait until January 18 to see him. I hate it when tickets go on sale months before the show, or maybe january just seems far away.

I'm not working again today, but my staffing agency says I'm in their 'top 3 employees,' whatever that means, and I'm waiting to hear back on a temp job at northwestern in which they have me applied. I'm tired of not working. I'm making good use of my time, applying to jobs on days I'm not working, but I still haven't received anything in return.

Last night I had another lame dream (I have blogged at length on the prevalence of lame dreams in my psyche). I dreamt I was on a swedish geological expedition and on my way back to north africa everyone on the plane had to be searched by soviet authorities. Nervousness and tension abounds.

I understand this is entirely implausible.
And I don't even like that type of movie.

kevdek

coming back soon

2006-10-24T13:20:00.000-05:00

It is official, we will be visiting our native city next weekend, that of Nov. 3, 4, and 5. We'll be staying with our dear friends, nick and brooke, who were kind enough to put us up for a weekend. I'm looking forward to coming back, I've been thinking longingly about places and activities I used to do so regularly and comfortably I now feel I'm missing something in my daily routine:

a) Listening to 'yo la tengo' at kava house while reading - gazing out to lake drive
b) Browsing the ryerson library
c) walking downtown, mentally juxtaposing the past onto the present
d) visiting bars that cater to my interest / demographic
e) not worrying constantly / comfort
f) spending all saturday downloading music and looking out my bedroom window
g) feeling unique / on top of culture
h) seeing all of you

Last night I finally finished reading 'east of eden.' I'm taking some time to think about it before I discuss anywhere. I read it because oprah told me to, which is a lie but I have been watching oprah almost every day. I think promise of television rotting my brain my parents always delivered to me growing up is finally being fulfilled.

Last week I completely missed the boat on wilco tickets. I had balcony tickets available to me during the pre-sale and I stupidly passed them up thinking I could do better during the general sale. They are now sold out.

I'm applying to many, many jobs. I think I'll get a job at northwestern sooner than later - one opened up and they're looking at me to fulfill it. It's a legal assistant position supporting the center on international human rights (I believe that's the name).

keep your fingers crossed

Maybe when I see/experience something new I can blog about something besides my daily activities.

acid rainy days

2006-10-11T10:13:00.000-05:00

I'm still trying to arrange a weekend to come back to Grand Rapids to visit my dear friends. As of this time, it appears to be the weekend immediately following halloween - that of November 3,4, and 5 (which just happens to be someone's 24th).

Things here are fine. We're making money and supporting ourselves. I haven't exactly done any of the fun things which that supported my decision to move in the first place. In fact, last Wednesday we were sitting around bored and all the while I had forgotten that jenny lewis was playing at the vic and joseph arthur was playing just down the street from us. I was fairly upset about it the next day.

I'm back at northwestern for my second, 'last day of work.' Tomorrow I will be sending my resume all over town while I sit in the library all afternoon. And while I'm making enough money to support myself, not having a steady, full-time income is getting me down.

Lately we've been very homesick for our native city and for our friends. I watched part of the granholm / devos debate online. His opening statements were such shit. I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it if I had to watch all the negative campaigning on television. I'm glad she's ahead in the polls; I do have to say I'm a bit surprised by the numbers. Tonight at Aquinas there is a supposed debate between David LaGrand and Bill Hardiman (if he should show up). I wish I could see or hear this. If you are in Grand Rapids with nothing to do tonight, you may want to check it out.

Netflix has been treating us well, Monday night we watched 'thumbsucker.' I liked it (despite vince vaughn and keanu reeves) but xtina did not. Next on the queue: 'thank you for smoking' and 'brick,' followed by xtina's first viewing of 'clerks.'

it's raining here again today. the acid rain leaves a residue that simply won't come off the car.

last day of work...

2006-10-04T10:33:00.000-05:00

...and I'm blogging. Thank you to those who have commented on my blog recently. Xtina and I are once again at full health and are enjoying our netflix account (after a unanimous decision to upgrade to '3 unlimited'). I'm not sure what I'll be doing next but I'm passing my resume around the legal clinic. This weekend is a long weekend and I've resolved not to think too hard about work.

Tomorrow night Mark Kozelek is playing at the black orchid and I can't find anyone who is available to attend. Xina is working. Tix are $20 and it's at a 'supper club' of sorts, which is why I'm trying to avoid going alone.

Jason, I'm glad Cherry street misses me. I miss Cherry street so much. I hope to see you again soon.

We are tentatively planning on coming back to Grand Rapids for Halloween weekend. That is if Nick's place is available and they wouldn't mind putting us up for a couple nights.

We miss you all and hope to see you soon.

the problem with netflix...

2006-09-27T13:20:00.000-05:00

I just signed up for netflix and now I can't seem to remember any of those movies/tv shows I wanted to see so badly. Isn't that how it goes. All I can remember is all the new music I've wanted to hear but don't have the internet access to get ahold of it (because I'm poor and can't go to the record store). Do you have any suggestions? Do you have anything to say at all? It seems I haven't gotten comments in a month.

I'm getting over a bad cold that first infected me last week and now Xtina has some sort of illness that appears to be much much worse than my cold. We'll see what this weekend has in store for us and which one of us can participate.

temporary means temporary

2006-09-22T10:38:00.000-05:00

It has been confirmed. My position at the legal clinic has been offered to someone else. I understand that perhaps I've only been performing the most essential duties of the position and they'd prefer someone with legal filing experience, but I've worked hard for the last two weeks and have received nothing but great reviews of what I've done and I guess part of me was counting on winning them over to offering the position to me. Not just because I've done a great job, but because I want it and I must still have the naive belief that hard work is rewarded. I knew the engagement was casual, but I've realized what a wonderful job and staff this is and like I always do, I got my hopes up. Somehow it feels worse that I proved myself to them, like I'm being stricken down as inferior. I know I'm being irrational, but let me whine about this for just a little while before I go back to drifting through temporary employment.

short update

2006-09-19T11:49:00.000-05:00

I'm still working at the legal clinic and I'm astonished at how much I still love working here. Xtina started at whole foods and we already took advantage of our 20% discount. We had a wonderful friday with the guys and a magical evening with new friends, mr. Matt Jensen and his wife Mandy. Ahh, the comfort of having couple friends again. Really - we had a great time and we're a bit jeolous of the fact that they can have a dog. Now Xtina and I want one more than ever.

We ran into nick and brooke Saturday on their way home. Nice to see familiar faces, if only for a while.

On my morning commute I heard a long advertisement for michigan tourism. I wish I could remember how it went. "visit cities so sure of themselves, with individual cultures so distinct residents refer to them by nickname - g-rap, ypsi, cereal city, k-zoo, A-squared, the D." That's right, they refered to my hometown as "g-rap" on the radio. Sounds like a nice place; perhaps I'll visit sometime.

back to blogging at work

2006-09-13T11:33:00.000-05:00

That's right; I'm working right now. Through my temp agency I've gotten this two-week position with a legal clinic at the Northwestern University school of law. The job is great, the people are fantastic, I only wish I were doing this long-term. Monday morning I was so nervous driving my car into the north loop I thought I would surely chuck. Now, yesterday when I was taking cabs all over downtown to federal court and other places, I finally feel like I live here. At the end of the day I no longer feel worthless, but exhausted and gratified by a hard days work. It's a new feeling for me in all honesty. Hopefully I'll get a permanent position that is this sweet.

on second thought...

2006-08-30T13:12:00.000-05:00

Well, the chocolates thing fell through. It appears that they've found plenty of people who would do the job permanently, accept $8 an hour, and work for more than a few weeks. I'm tired of people responding to my complaints about things being pricey in Chicago with, "well here you make the big bucks!" Show me the money. Show me the money indeed.

going to the country

2006-08-29T13:46:00.000-05:00

I had a great weekend. We've only been in the city two weeks and already have some urge to escape the urban plane sporatically. Xtina and I went to andrew's parents' cottage in Fennville and grilled, drank cheap beer and generally hung out with old friends and some new ones too. I stopped by my parents house and got a new cell phone (which I'm paying for). It has a camera and, relatedly, I have an entirely new way of annoying my wife.

This post is a mess; I feel my mind has gone to shit since I stopped working and started watching several hours of television every day. Christina is in an interview with one of the top pastry chefs in town, aspiring to sign on to her patissarie - 'bittersweet.' This was the top job on her list and I'm hoping she'll get it, especially considering we were worried she hadn't gotten a call back due to an overzealous salary requirement.

Some things are piling up - renters/car insurance, money woes, and boredom; but I'm trying to stay positive. I have a good feeling we'll be making money soon. Don't get the wrong idea, we aren't about to be thrown out on the street, I just want to be productive, get off the couch, and earn some money so I can stop worrying and start enjoying this, the city of big shoulders.

I know that zach is moving to ecuador tomorrow and I wish him the best.

I'm missing all the people in grand rapids with whom I should have spent more time while I had the chance. Tonight I'll join the crew at the map room followed by a jaunt at the happy village - my chance for entertainment for the week. Then again, tonight the chicago outdoor film fest is showing 'ferris beuller's day off' in grant park. Could anything be more chicago?

To those of you I haven't spoken to, I'm doing fine, missing GR but not excessively, and I'll figure out how to make ends meet in the city sooner or later.

kevdek

Now in Chicago

2006-08-21T15:59:00.000-05:00

Xtina and I arrived here safely. The move went well, the drive went fine, we're fine. Our apartment was filthy and incomplete, but the landlord stopped by to straighten things out. Xtina has had a couple of interviews and I have had none. I think I'm going to pack some chocolates with ben while I look for something else. I'm proud to report that after a week of not working, I'm still not worried that we'll make ends meet. I know we must start working sooner than later, but my anxiety has not cought up with the novelty of a new place. Yesterday we rode our bikes to millenium park and the past week's activities have included walking to the north beach, visiting the MCA with sean, and chillin' out max.

With so much going on I have no idea what to blog about, quite a departure from blogging about nothing. I'll be sure to visit the library from time to time and update my blog while I don't have regular internet access. I'm eager to hear how things are going at home.

Oh, and I beat Xtina in scrabble: my greatest achievement ever.

five short days

2006-08-09T14:00:00.000-05:00

I just attended my ‘going-away’ party at work, complete with a “we’ll miss you, Kevin” frosting decorated on top. I still have a hard time thinking concretely about moving. I’ve set-up the electricity and gas, rented a truck, and started packing. I can see moving-in visually but beyond the first initial hours I’m clueless. Life in Chicago was entirely incalculable until a lease was signed and a setting for life established. That was the point at which moving became a certainty, now I need to transition into reality. Tonight we drink too much with Jason and Sarah, likewise with Nick tomorrow night. Friday we go to Saugatuck with Peter and Erin (who is plotting a move of her own), and Saturday we dine and converse with Karl and Sarah. In some ways I feel I’m leaving this planet, behaving as if we’ll never see our friends again, as opposed to moving three hours away. Yesterday I fulfilled a promise to visit the Voigt house before I leave. I felt like a bit of a loser taking a guided tour alone, but it was interesting nonetheless. Did you know that Mr. Voigt equipped all the light fixtures in the house with the ability to use either gas or electricity because he didn’t trust the newly-formed electric company? It’s true!

Job update:
Me – nothing
X-tina – Interview with Whole Foods in Lincoln Park for bakery supervisor position.

If I haven’t scheduled you for a night of drinks and laughs or spoken to you in a while, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure I keep up on my blog – as this is the only place to read all the nervous rants of my early adult years and get the scoop on formative events.

I Will Internalize: the official blog of anxiety.

vacation, one and two

2006-07-31T15:12:00.000-05:00

I’m back at work for the first time in eleven days. For those of you out of my ‘loop,’ the wife and I were in Vermont for the first week, having a truly lovely vacation. We stayed in a nice condo in the green mountains near Killington, forgetting all of our problems back at home. Her entire family was there for her grand parents anniversary. I never thought I’d be able to have so much fun with family. We hiked, talked, drank some great beer, (thanks to the Magic Hat brewery line of beers including ‘hocus pocus ale’) and tried to explain why we don’t eat meat and what, then, we do eat (which is a tiresome conversation when engaged in to those who don’t know any vegetarians). And while we were there for a full week, we still didn’t feel as though we saw everything we wanted to. We’re sorry we didn’t make it to Burlington.

We arrived home on Thursday night and spent Friday doing laundry and cleaning the apartment prior to leaving for the hottest (temperature-wise) music festival ever. While fun, the pitchfork festival was a bit disappointing. The Walkmen were good, as were the Silver Jews (although not as good as in ann arbor last winter), Destroyer and Jens Lekman. Devendra Banhart was a huge disappointment as was almost the entirety of Sunday afternoon, due largely to the heat. We weren’t able to stay for Os Mutantes, which may have redeemed my attitude. Now I’m sure there are plenty of raving reviews of the entire festival out on the blogosphere today, but just remember – I may not be as ‘hip’ as they are. If you see any photos of the festival, I am the patron not wearing an old novelty t-shirt or a short-sleeved western shirt.

The apartment is arranged, the moving truck has been ordered, and with two weeks remaining in the winter water wonderland, I’m getting nervous. But don’t tell my wife. Honestly, while I’ll miss those of you reading this from the g-rap, I’m getting more excited about the move. I’ll be even more excited if you find me a job.

kevdek

faxed the lease

2006-07-20T15:36:00.000-05:00

Xtina and I officially have an apartment in Chicago. It's a fairly nice apartment in Chicago's desirable Bucktown neighborhood on the near NW side of the city. The neighborhood is great, the location okay and it's less than we were prepared to spend. We signed the lease today and our worlds are falling apart. Suddenly we leave for vacation in Vermont tomorrow and when we arrive we have two workweeks and move. I need to find work there soon.

no, I KNOW I can dance

2006-07-13T10:15:00.000-05:00

I’ve been getting pretty bored these days. While my work week is only four days long, I find the nights unbearable at times. What makes this boredom worse is my resorting to watching television. Requiring no commitment of time or energy, NBC’s weekday trainwreck is simply the easiest thing for me to do. And this saddens me. Watching ‘so you think you can dance’ when there is a copy of ‘east of eden’ with thirty pages read in front of me is sad sad sad.

I’m getting better at karate, and with it stronger and more flexible. Feels great to see myself improving in something.

This weekend we’re going back to the big city to once again look for an apartment. This time, however, we’re staying in a hotel – thanks to hotwire.com. With the expected 92F in the city, I wasn’t about to sleep on nick/andrew’s couch.

And the story continues…

long weekend

2006-07-04T12:20:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was another bust in regards to our apartment search. We found a great place with a lake view and a new kitchen but the location demanded an hour commute to the loop - and it was in a high-rise. I've never been able to see myself in a high-rise or a complex. Perhaps it's a need to feel a sense of place or ownership (despite being a renter) that makes me feel stifled and unwelcomed in a high-rise. I need just a little outdoor space of my own. With another unsuccessful weekend we are pushing back our move to aug. 15 or sept 1st at the earliest. There is the full update, so don't ask me again. At least we were able to enjoy the day by stopping in historic downtown fennville for a post-dinner dinner at journeymans, followed by an evening at the sand bar, peter and erin's summer cottage in saugatuck.

Sunday was spent in a typical way, doing laundry at the in-laws. Later we had dinner, drinks, and conversation with friends - which does wonders in breaking the sunday tradition and adds continuity for the week. Monday I missed karate and briefly thought about not going anymore. Which is worse, continuing to feel bad at another activity, or living with guilt about quitting something else that's good for me? Here is the real reason I missed karate.

And now, on this nation's birthdate, we rose early to march in a grand rapids parade with the campaign in which I've been volunteering. Immediately thereafter we trekked to the kentwood parade for a less receptive audience. This brings me to now. We're exhausted, but looking for something to do this evening nevertheless. I'm glad we decided against the initial plan of going to the my morning jacket show in chicago. I'm much too tired to drive that far. Perhaps I'll celebrate independence by drinking too much on a worknight.

One more thing: to those of you who will understand, I laughed out loud in my cubicle upon seeing this last week. I'm sure I'll give you another update before long.

In Fashion, the soft drinks, expansion...

2006-06-22T13:45:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a big day. We’ll wake up bright and early and make our way to Chicago, (the New Age, but what would Frank Lloyd Wright say? Oh Columbia! Amusement or treasure, these optimistic pleasures Like the Ferris Wheel!)

I can’t help it.

We’ll be attending Jason and Sarah’s wedding. I’m excited to go. Jason has a been a good friend since I started in college I’m looking forward to seeing the likes of ben, mcglone, and Josiah once again. Let’s hope I can find my way through the concrete maze that is the city of Chicago and arrive on-time.

What makes me most nervous is that we will also be trying to sign on an apartment. I would feel much better about it if I was seeing apartments I like on craigslist within our price range. I guess I fear getting a crappy apartment for more money than I’d like to spend. I’ll try not to jump into anything. Wish me luck.

make a wish

2006-06-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

The fundraiser was a big success. Everything was set up on time and the food was lovingly prepared without so much as a gap in service. There was a moment during the afternoon in my pick-up and delivery that I messed up. It reminded me of a couple times in my employment history where I felt that I did my best and failed miserably, killing my self esteem. I freaked out, but got my bearings straight and everything worked out fine in the end. I was relieved by the time the party started.

Last night I had a dream where I was working for the make-a-wish foundation and I told everyone in the board room that we should be giving out vacations to healthy children who will remember them. Everyone started vomiting violently and they blamed me for making them, and the children, so ill.

Xtina read my previous post last night. We are currently in contract negotiations. Rather, while we are still planning on moving, we are thinking very critically about it.

the ghost of andy

2006-06-16T10:29:00.000-05:00

Tonight is a huge fundraiser for the political campaign on which I've been working. I'll spend my afternoon moving tables, chairs, food, plates, glasses and everything heavy you can imagine. I'm fine with it, though. Christina is the one everyone will blame if something goes wrong; she's catering the whole thing. Needless to say, she's been anxious. Not that she didn't put this on herself, though. Her taking such an active role stems from her inability to say 'no' to anybody but me. This way we're giving more to the campaign than we could possibly provide monitarily so I'm truly grateful and while xtina has been hard to be comfortable around, it's worth it.

Last night I had a dream the xtina and I were at Jason's wedding reception and we were seated at the same table as andy warhol. He insisted, though, that we call him 'John.' And not just 'John,' but 'John Warhol.' He made everyone little glass sculptures and I told the other guests at the table that I'd seen better work from him in his past. What an asshole. Don't worry, the ghost of andy warhol doesn't decend upon me in my sleep on a regular basis.

I'm still nervous about the move, I don't need to write another post about it. Sometimes I lay awake at night and I resolve to tell xtina that we can't move, that we'd be giving too much up and I always talk myself out of it the next day. I wish I had a good job here. I simply don't feel good about it. I'm not excited at all anymore. Xtina is going to have a long talk with me when she reads this tomorrow. She'll cry, and I'll back off.

falling in line

2006-06-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

Another Friday afternoon and the air smells like sweet perfume. No, something really does smell like perfume. I had a meeting with career services today. We talked about the move and it was reassuring that she didn't think I was crazy about moving without a job. She actually thought I was making the right decision, all the way. I was honest and told her I'm terrified. This morning I made an apointment with the 'apartment people' in chicago while I'm there for Jason's wedding. Looks like I'm on my way.

Tomorrow is Jason's bachelor party. We're going to blue chip casino where I'll triple our moving budget with one clickety-clack of the dice. Actually xtina threatened to hide the debit card.

I have the new thom yorke album. It's pretty good, along the same lines as a radiohead album, but not mind-shatteringly original. I'll give it a few listens, I assure you.

'found' and summer walks

2006-06-05T09:36:00.000-05:00

I’m finally back to normal again – well, in regards to my health, that is. I took the weekend very slow with the exception of helping to re-hab a cherry hill market storefront for the LaGrand campaign and attending the ‘Found’ exhibition at the wealthy theater, that local cultural institution I always plan on visiting and never do. The ‘Found’ thing was great, Davy Rothbart can tell a great story, albeit a little short (I waited for the show longer than the show actually went). Now xtina and I have a new inside joke/phrase for our personal enjoyment – “the booty don’t stop,” courtesy of the Ypsilanti all-starz. I already used it while walking through the remnants of festival yesterday. We also took advantage of the beautiful day by visiting most of the tom otterness sculptures that have been placed around downtown. If you have an afternoon to kill and the weather is nice you should definitely do this – the sculptures are great! There is a map of sculpture locations available here: . One of our favorites is located on the blue pedestrian bridge connecting to the GVSU campus. It is days like yesterday that I will miss immensely when I’m gone – a picturesque cityscape, and essentially all to myself. It makes me feel huge.

how was your / plans for your / weekend?

2006-05-30T14:50:00.000-05:00

For some reason I now have an internet filter on my office computer and it blocks several of my linked blogs. Is this the beginning of the end? Let’s hope not. Unfortunately this means I will not be able to refresh your blog one hundred times per day as I’ve done in the past. Among those blocked – becky, metal, Krista, post secret, and plenty of other sites I check on a regular basis, I’m sure.

Well, the phrase around the office today is “how was your weekend?” Then again, it always is. Monday and Tuesday are “how was your weekend?;” Wednesday and Thursday are “do you have any plans for the weekend?” Well, how was my weekend? Friday was a whole lot o’ nothing (to the best of my knowledge), with the exception of paying for software to back up my questionable files on my ipod, anticipating a full collapse of my desktop PC in the near future. Saturday saw xtina getting hammered off three drinks and some cold medication (not taken for this honestly undesired effect). Sunday I received a phone call from a one Mr. Campbell followed by a scenic drive to Fennville to meet with said Mr. Campbell as well as Andrew, Budde, Nick, and Veldman at Andrews folk’s cottage. Then yesterday xtina and I went to the LaGrand’s cottage on the shore to beat the stifling heat of the city. We had a great time – drank some beer, ate some food, went swimming and kayaking with the Swedberg kids. Finally last night we determined to finish season two of the sopranos, keeping our tired bodies up past 12:30 (that just made me sound ancient).

Not much else new to report. We’re still planning on moving, I’m getting more nervous and frightened. This will most likely culminate in me panicking and considering not going at a most inconvenient step in the moving process (for those of you who remember my hasty, ill-reasoned actions over a year ago). I just wish I knew I could find an apartment/job before quitting what I already have and find suitable. I know this dilemma is nothing new and is going to be confronted at some point in my life. Well, I should probably go home soon, there is an 85 degree kitchen full of dishes to wash.

update: move

2006-05-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

You knew it would happen sooner-or-later. I'm posting from work. I dare you to call me a little bitch now! I honestly sat down to post this weekend and couldn't bring myself to write another update on nothing that I'm not particularly proud of. Xtina and I are going to Chicago tomorrow. We'll probably scope-out some neighborhoods, do a little shopping, maybe see a museum, etc... We have a sudden interest in Chicago because, get this, we've decided to move there. The very thought of it makes me quesy. Think of all the people! Each one another reason to get angry and take it out on my spouse. In all seriousness, I'm excited to move. There are things about GR that I'll miss, particularly several people. I hope you know who you are. There are other things, too, like having a back yard, silence, being able to go several days without spending money, and of course, SECURITY. No, I'm not afraid of crime, I mean security in the sense that right now I don't have to worry about paying the rent, getting to work, dealing with bad landlords, knowing where things are. But the time is right. We're young, dissatisfied with our jobs and unable to find new ones (well, I can't at least) and the only committment we have is a voluntary one. This won't happen until August, but I'll be sure to fill out an interview project questionnaire on my way out.

my advice to you, sir...

2006-05-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again: time to update my resume and do my best to write a flattering cover letter. There certainly aren't many opportunities for college grads without a specialization these days, despite what the president says. On craigslist chicago (where people use craigslist) there appears to more options for me than here. Then again, perhaps in Chicago they may just be better at posting the ubiquitous "fake" craigslist job post. EARN MONEY FROM HOME! $1,000 PER WEEK! - is how it would read here. I think I'd like to stick around for a while, I don't feel as though I'm done with GR yet. Then again, part of me feels like I'm wasting my youth here and I'm ready for a change. I am completely unprepared to move. At least I have some friends there. Trying to find a job may be the most agonizing endeavor known to me at this point in my life. At least this year, as I'm searching, I already have a job and I'm not eating-up my savings.

Today xtina and I decided that we'd like to go to Chicago over our anniversary weekend (two weeks away) but it seems as though every hotel in the city is booked. We should have come to this consensus weeks ago. The problem at-hand is that I'd like to stay in the city (not at a holiday inn express by the airport) and not pay $450 per night. aww hell.

Tulip Time is here again. I don't think I'll make an apperance this year, although seeing dutch dancers (women playing both the mens and womens roles) shaking their calvinist shame fingers as part of the choreographed dance. Perhaps calvinist shame is why young men in holland don't dare dutch dance in the first place?

i will internalize

so as not to get blocked

On the Dylan Show

It's a... Cat!

sunny afternoon

the early shift

I am no longer 'on a boat'

cold as ice

Wednesday

we can make this happen

working mans blues

In a few hours it will be official...

sunday: pumpkin pancakes and window-sealing plastic

I'll see you in Grand Rapids

Day trip to Pullman

9pm with a gumballhead

back to the week

weekend view

slip and fall

what I did on my summer vacation...

my oh my

_____________vacation___

Tonight

Update

out of "office"

I made it!

Back in Town

summer is here

via boing boing

"...you want to hire a choirboy you can go back to Grand Rapids. I've been to that scumbag town, it's full of 'em."

Just got home from Ill'nois...

Budget Hero

annual aching for more

the burning, oh the burning

sunday morning before inventory night

Bells is Back!

thick, wet snow

buying tix, riding bikes

part two

Saturday a.m., pre Car Talk

answer: that's just the way it is

this just in: peapod.com carries scotch

cooking, buying, brunching

It's the most wonderful time of the year

maps, maps, maps

posting from work again

greatest weakness - Eczema

where the good lord flung it

day off

That's Right - A New Design

block party

beer run

new tunes, summer plans

Rookie of the Month

the new place

address changes, moving vans, 12 month aged manchego

back to town

moving time again

Zoo Adventure 2K7

anniversary excursion

...and shove it

smokestacks and skyscrapers

Shoddy Umbrellas, Life Under Netflix

the prophesy fulfilled

part two

and now our tv is broken

through a cellophane window

guest voice in my head: john waters

lonely rivers flow to the sea

solitaire factory

chappy chanukkah

thursday

winter is here

I need a good name for our new Rat Terrier

Two Years of Excellence, or uh, blogging

sitting, thinking about driving - I mean really driving

returning to the grind, another lame dream

coming back soon

acid rainy days

last day of work...

___________vacation_